Miss Information

Update

2011-08-02T20:59:00.001-07:00

It appears that the only time I can post anything on my blog is when I'm not on my own computer. (I'm currently in Utah and using my dad's computer.) There is some sort of a glitch on my laptop that makes it impossible for an illiterate computer user like me to post anything on my blog. I hope that my computer genius husband can come to my rescue soon, but from the looks of his gargantuan "to do" list, it will be quite a long time before that happens. I DO have things to say, and I do want to say them, but I will have to wait . . .

Still Living

2011-05-17T20:19:00.001-07:00

I typed up a lengthy post a few weeks ago, and blogger "rejected" it. I got discouraged. I sat on my hands. (Not really.) I want to write. I need to write. But writing will have to wait until at least the middle of June. Then I will try to write something worth reading. Stay tuned. If you dare.

*I'm 800 miles away from home using my dad's computer, and so that is why I could publish these two posts. Once I return home, who knows how long it will be before I can get my own computer to cooperate.

Viva Las Vegas!

2011-04-20T19:19:00.001-07:00

Earlier this month I traveled to Las Vegas for my lovely niece Nikki's wedding. It was a short trip, but it was packed with fun, sun, and time with family. I shared a tiny hotel room with my parents. They slept in a king-sized bed, and I slept in a roll-away (with the obligatory sunken mattress) pushed up against the wall on one side and a had a 4-inch space between my parents' bed on the other side. There wasn't much time for sleep anyway.

I have a tradition of making quilts for my nieces and nephews when they get married. I'm rethinking this "good idea" since 3 nieces are getting married before mid-August. Here is a photo of new bride Nikki's quilt.

We spent a few hours on "The Strip." I'm glad we went during the day because the pimps don't appear to be too active then. Plus, M&M World is very family-friendly. The casinos not so much. It had been a long time since I had smelled much cigarette smoke.

Let me just say (in case you couldn't tell), that I'm not very good at arranging the layout on my blog. That is why you see the photos all clumped together and the text all clumped together. I'll try to improve the layout some time in the next 5 years, but for now, you'll have to settle for the way it is.

I even managed to get a photo of Donald Trump's campaign headquarters. Our hotel was a hop, skip and a jump from there. I didn't see The Donald, though.

As you can see, Elvis is still in the building. Or should I say "Elvises?" They were out in full force on the strip.

I'm not a Madonna fan, but I wanted to include the photo of her bizarre and unique bustier. I hope you can read the description included on the picture.

Try to use your imagination and picture me flanked by two Michael Jacksons. They looked incredibly like the real Michael Jackson, although I had never seen him in person. Their voices even sounded like MJ. My sister took a very gory picture of me getting my head cut off by Jason. (At least my nephews tell me that's his name.) If you must see the photo, go to my Facebook page and look at my photos.

Fortunately, the Las Vegas Temple is not on "The Strip." It's next to some very brown, dirt-covered mountains. The temple is beautiful inside and out, and the grounds are lovely, too. We attended a temple session with Nikki Thursday night and her wedding Friday.

My mom and dad will be so happy (?) that I posted a photo of them, too. My siblings (2 brothers and 1 sister) will be overjoyed with their photo as well. The only spouse missing was Lance. He had to stay home and hold down the fort here. Sometimes he gets to take a vacation. We even take occasional trips together. (Those are the fun ones.)

The lovely bride, Nikki, and her groom, Tyler, pose with Karen, Nikki's mom, and Scott, Nikki's step-dad. Then they pose with Nikki's dad, Blake (my brother) and step-mom, Lanette.

Then, of course, there is the obligatory photo of the grandparents with the grandchildren. Some of the grandchildren. Why are my kids always missing? (They didn't go on the trip.) Niece, Hannah, was missing, too. She was preparing for her college finals. Her wedding day is in August.

A trip to Vegas wouldn't be complete without a photo of double cousin Janet and her adorable, precocious children.

YOU ARE NOT BLIND. THERE ARE NO PHOTOS WITH THIS POST. THERE WERE PHOTOS WITH THIS POST, but I couldn't post them. Just use your imagination. I'll try to redo the photos if my computer will cooperate.

Gray is Beautiful

2011-03-21T10:53:00.001-07:00

Call it vanity, call it what you will, but I think my natural (gray) hair color makes me look old. In other words, it makes me look like I'm 51.5 years old.

Something happened this morning that shocked me to the core and pushed me to make a decision I really didn't want to make. I will explain.

I "colored" my hair like I always do every couple of months. I used the product I've always used. The one with "no ammonia." I donned the gloves, applied the dye, rinsed my hair and conditioned it. My loving husband then noticed that I had somehow gotten just a dab of hair color on our new bathroom door. As he wiped off the SMALL amount of dye, the door paint peeled off with it. Horror of horrors!

This begs the question: if my "gentle" no-ammonia-based hair dye is strong enough to peel paint off wood, what is the dye doing to my scalp? My blood? My brain? Yikes!!!!

Now for the decision: I will no longer dye my hair. There I said it! This means that when you see me gradually turning gray and staying that way, you'll know why. Try not to stare. I hope I will stay strong and committed and will stick with this decision. Try not to stare. (I know I just repeated myself.)

Hypothetically Speaking

2011-03-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

I wonder if anyone has sued their child/children for mental anguish? Just doing a bit of pondering today.

Blood Draw and Writing

2011-03-07T21:33:00.001-08:00

I have deep, hard-to-find veins. If I'm dehydrated, it makes finding those veins next to impossible. Just ask the nurses that tried to start an IV before I had my colonoscopy a few months ago. I'm always thrilled when I encounter someone who knows how to get my veins to cooperate, someone who will listen to me when I tell them to use a butterfly needle. I really don't mind getting my blood taken. It's never bothered me. Needles have never scared me. But, I don't like it when health professionals dig around in my arm for minutes on end trying to find a vein. It begins to hurt after a while.

Imagine my delight today when I showed up at LabCorp and was greeted by the same phlebotomist who drew my blood a few months ago. He was a pro. He still is a pro. He is one of my new best friends. I should have asked his name.

Before lunching with a group of friends today, I met up with one of my dearest friends, Julie, for a little chat. We talked about our kids and a few other things before she asked, "Are you writing?" She knows I completed a 2-year course in writing children's literature. I was a little embarrassed to tell her that I really don't write much. I should write. I want to write. But it's probably important to have something to write about. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . .

Stay tuned . . .

For the Love of Reading

2011-02-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

I like to read. Strike that. I LOVE to read. Recently I read five books at once. (Trust me, it's possible.) I have a large library; it's actually a lending library and books come and go. I enjoy lending my books to other avid readers, and I love recommending good books I've read. Here are some of the books I've recently read and recommend.

*The Grand Sophy by Georgette Heyer
*Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls
*The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (pardon the "French")
*The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
*NurtureShock by Po Bronson and Ashley
*Better by Atul Gawande
*Complications by Atul Gawande
*The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
*Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison (PAPERBACK version)
*Hiding in the Spotlight by Greg Dawson
*Betsy-Tacy Books by Maud Hart Lovelace
*Villette by Charlotte Bronte
*Take Good Care of the Garden and Dogs AND If You Lived Here I'd Know Your Name by Heather Lende
*Too Close to the Falls by Catherine McClure Gildiner

Bad News First

2011-01-31T16:22:00.000-08:00

Bad News: I had to pay $200 to the Kirkland Municipal Court today.
Good News: I was given a deferral on my speeding ticket, and the ticket will not go on my driving record. I just have to remain ticket-free for six months. (The normal deferral is one year, but since I have a perfect driving record, the judge reduced the time to 6 months.) I didn't even have to recite the speech I had sort of prepared.

If you choose to be a passenger in my car, get used to being driven to your destination very slowly (at least for the next 6 months).

More Cupcakes!

2011-01-17T20:38:00.001-08:00

Since my living room and kitchen double as sewing rooms, it's kind of a pain to set up my trusty Viking Classica 100 machine every time I want to sew. While the machine is "up," I like to cram as many sewing projects into that time as my shoulder and neck muscles will allow. I spent the MLKJ holiday weekend sewing 17 of these nifty little cupcake oven mitts. I really like them. While the pattern and directions are easy to follow, they are a bit challenging to make. My mom has requested that I make 30 for her to give as Christmas gifts. Unfortunately, these will be used for other purposes, so I have at least 30 more to make.

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

2011-01-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

Can you tell which photo is not holiday-related? It's the photo of Mark holding an adorable baby Ella. I included this photo because it's cute and because it shows Mark doing something that he loves to do. Since I didn't gift him with a younger sibling, I give him opportunities to hold babies from time to time. Now, onto the holidays.

Five of us (Lance, Sara, Zach, Mark and myself) traveled to a very cold Rexburg, Idaho on December 22 to spend Christmas with Annica and Josh. Rachelle finished Fall Semester a few days prior to our arrival, so she had taken up temporary residence at her sister's home. Josh's mother (aka Mark's "mother-in-law"--which is a story for another day) joined us Christmas Eve. This is the first time in a long time that our entire family has been together. We played games, ate, shopped (a little), chatted, and went snow-mobiling. I should note that only the boys went snow-mobiling. Josh prevented Mark from rolling theirs.

The day after Christmas, Lance, Rachelle, Zachary and Mark returned to Washington. Sara and I traveled to Utah. The Washington-bound group was blessed with relatively good weather and roads on their journey. Sara and I had to brave the slick roads and snowy weather on our trip. It took my back and neck 4 days to recover from the tension built up on the drive.

We had a family get-together in Kaysville Monday evening. My brothers and sister and their families came, and we had dinner and played games. This is an annual event and the first one in years that I had attended. The rest of the week saw us playing games (Canasta, usually), shopping and getting Sara ready to go to BYU.

Sara and I ventured to Provo on New Year's Day. We paid a short visit to Lane and Cindy's family in Alpine. Sara checked into her apartment at Heritage Halls. I lived at Heritage Halls during my freshman year. That was (gulp!) over 33 years ago. The apartments look almost identical to the way they looked when I resided there. The few upgrades they made were: a microwave, dishwasher, kitchen flooring (no more waxing!), and raised bed frames. Oh, and a kitchen "couch." We had to buy our own at Deseret Industries when I lived there. Sara's roommates wouldn't arrive for a couple of days, so she spent the first two nights alone in her apartment.

Sara was amused by the "Mexican-themed" restaurant where we ate lunch. There were no Mexicans in sight. She was less amused by the frigidly cold weather. I gave her a little tour of the BYU campus and showed her the buildings where her classes were. Unfortunately, since it was a holiday, all of the buildings were locked. We couldn't even visit the BYU Bookstore nor buy Sara's textbooks.

I spent that night in Springville with Melanie and Greg's family and went to church with them the next morning. From there I returned to Kaysville and got to spend a little time with niece Nikki and meet her boyfriend.

After consulting weather forecasts along our route, Dad and I determined that Monday would be our best window of opportunity to drive to Washington. So we left Monday morning and arrived in Pendleton, Oregon just in time for dinner. We ate dinner at Hamley's Steak House (highly recommended mostly for the ambience) and slept at Oxford Suites. We resumed our journey Tuesday morning and made it back to Redmond in time to pick the boys up from school. We were blessed with good weather and mostly ice-free roads. The weather was ICE cold for most of the trip ranging in temperature from 1 to 36 degrees.

Dad flew home Friday afternoon. I was grateful for my wonderful traveling companion, but am not anxious to make that trip any time again soon. But, April is fast-approaching.

Busted!

2010-12-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

I got caught speeding yesterday. It happened as I drove from Costco to pick up the boys from school. I didn't realize I was exceeding the speed limit (as I'm unfamiliar with the speed limit on that particular road) until I saw the officer and then saw the speed limit sign. I knew I was going to get pulled over, and I did.

Outwardly, I was a good sport and answered, very matter-of-factly, all of the officer's questions. Yes, I knew how fast I was going. Yes, I saw the speed limit sign. No, I didn't see the speed limit sign at the top of the hill when I turned onto that road. No, I didn't have any questions. I said very little. I wanted to be funny, but I just couldn't. I clammed up under pressure. At least, I didn't cry. I don't like to cry--especially in front of a stranger.

I should have said, "I have never before been issued a speeding ticket," and/or "Will you just give me a warning so my perfect driving record isn't ruined?" But what I REALLY wanted to say was, "I weigh MUCH less than what is written on my license." (He didn't even say, "Gee, you look a lot thinner than what your driver's license shows.)

Since I had just come from purchasing many items for our church Christmas party, I silently prayed that the officer would have mercy and just issue a warning. My prayers weren't answered the way I wanted them to be.

I can't fault the officer; I was breaking the law. But, he didn't crack a smile. His words were uttered in a very monotone voice. He was probably my age. Or older. And, darn it all--he disproved my theory that all motorcycle cops are good-looking!

Here's my question for you, dear readers: should I pay the $154 fine or go to jail?

Oh, Canada!

2010-11-28T16:08:00.000-08:00

Darling daughter Sara and I went to Victoria, Canada aboard the Victoria Clipper. We took a day trip the day after Thanksgiving as a "final" little mother/daughter adventure before she starts at BYU in January. The waters were very choppy in Elliott Bay, and I felt very queasy before the vessel even started moving. The ginger pills and ginger ale I consumed really didn't help matters much. I opted to take the $.25 dose of motion sickness pills the crew provided on the return trip.

We took a little bus tour around the city and to Butchart Gardens. The gardens were surprisingly beautiful even covered in snow. The Empress Hotel was also very lovely, although we just saw a small part of the interior. Our near-perfect day was capped off by a lovely seafood dinner at Anthony's Pier 66 in Seattle.

Santa's Workshop

2010-11-22T20:28:00.001-08:00

Yes, I know; I haven't posted anything for a long, long time. I have a good excuse. I used my blogging time sewing Christmas gifts. Here is a little peek at my finished projects. The cupcakes are actually oven mitts.

I took advantage of the week Lance was in Germany to spread out all of my supplies and sew up a storm. I was excited to finish everything. I put my sewing machine away thinking I wouldn't sew again for quite some time. Then Mark reminded me that I had promised to sew merit badges on his Scout sash. I guess the machine will be set up again soon.

Imagine Alaska

2010-09-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I planned to write about our August trip to Alaska. I even had photos to show; however, the "photos" are still stuck in my digital camera. There is something wrong with the memory card and I can't access or print the photos. You will just have to use your imagination as I describe the trip.

The purpose of said trip was to attend our nephew Liam's wedding in the Anchorage Temple, see many family members, and get a small taste of a very small part of Alaska. We planned the trip with Cary (Lance's brother) and his wife, Caren. It was a short trip--we were there a mere 2 and 1/2 days--but so well worth going.

We knew Cary and Caren were staying in the same hotel as we were, but since we arrived past midnight, we weren't sure which room was theirs. We discovered they were staying right next door to us when the fire alarm awakened us the next morning. The Dimond Center Hotel was a great place to say (and, no, I didn't misspell Dimond) in spite of the fire alarm one morning and a kitchen and main-floor bathroom flood the following morning. (You know you're in Alaska when you see the hotel staff hurriedly shoveling the water out the door with SNOW shovels!)

The first day there was devoted to everything related to the wedding and visiting with relatives. The temple was a short distance from our hotel, and the ceremony was short, meaningful and sweet. Between the temple ceremony and the ring ceremony and reception, we grabbed a bite to eat, and drove to Eagle River with Laurel (Lance's sister and mother of the groom) and Mick (our brother-in-law and father of the groom) to visit Uncle Johnny, Aunt Vicki and cousin Scott. Since we had never before been to Alaska, we had never seen where Uncle Johnny and family has lived for many years. And, since Mick and Laurel lived in Alaska for many years, have 9 children, and have made infrequent visits to the lower 48, we haven't met all of their children (2 to be exact). Spencer, the 23-year-old, is one we'd only seen once prior to our trip. He was the only child to accompany his parents to Alaska. (We'll have to meet the other two never-before-seen children some other time.)

We were excited that the 30 days of constant rain ended the day before we arrived. It rained a bit at the end of the outdoor reception, but we didn't mind one little bit.

The following day was our "act like a tourist" day. Cary, Caren and Lance and I piled in our shared rental car and followed Mick and Laurel to a wildlife center. I am very attracted to moose, bears and bison, so I had a great time there. Mick and Laurel left us to attend to other social engagements. The four of us continued on our way to Portage Bay and the Byron Glacier. The weather was still cooperative, but things got a bit chilly and windy at some points. We went to Whittier--a town accessible only by boat or a 2.5 mile one-way tunnel through the mountain. Cars go in one direction for certain times each hour, and then go the other way at the other times. It was an interesting, little fishing village.

We planned to eat dinner at the Seven Glaciers Restaurant atop a mountain in Girdwood. We didn't mind that there were no reservations left because the entree prices started at $75. Cary and Caren insisted on treating us to dinner, and I would have been very uncomfortable had we been able to eat there. (We settled for a Mexican restaurant in Anchorage later that evening.) We still took the tram to the top of the mountain to see the gorgeous scenery and watch hand gliders take off and glide over the valley. It was on this little adventure that we became well acquainted with some of Alaska's pesky insects--mosquitos and other annoying pests.

Our last morning was spent at Mick's parents' house watching the newlyweds open their wedding gifts. Liam and Sierra are a cute couple, and we enjoyed spending some time with them and familiarizing ourselves with our new niece. Around noon, we left for the airport. We had a quick lunch, said our good-byes to Cary and Caren and then waited a couple of hours for our flight to depart.

We had a really great time. Lance and I loved spending most of our waking hours with Cary and Caren, whom we see so infrequently. I think the four of us would like to take another trip together in the near future.

(A Few of) My Favorite Gluten-free Things

2010-09-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

A little more than three years ago, I became gluten-free out of necessity. (I'm supposed to be casein-free as well, and I'm working on that.) Since then, I've had many opportunities to try different products, recipes, bakeries, stores, cookbooks, blogs, etc. with mixed success. I love sharing my discoveries with others who are also gluten-free. Here are some of my favorite gluten-free things.

*Bread: Udi's (Hands down this is the BEST bread on the market. I'm sure there are others out there that are comparable in taste, but I haven't found them yet. Most other GF breads are just plain yucky!)
*Bagels: Udi's
*GF Blogs: http://www.glutenfreegirl.blogspot/ and http://www.glutenfreemommy.com/
*Chocolate chip cookies: 36-hour recipe from the glutenfreegirl blog (I make deliveries to my "customers" when I make these cookies; they're that good! One gourmet cook friend said these cookies are better than ANY gluten-containing cookies he's ever had. Even my 16-year-old nephew loves them.)
*Other cookies: Chocolate Truffle Cookies (I adapted this from a gluten-containing recipe. These cookies are simply divine!)
*Bakery: Sweet Cakes on Park Lane in Kirkland (BEST cupcakes and chocolate ganache-topped caramel shortbread.)
*Chain restaurant GF menu: Outback Steakhouse and PF Changs
*Cookbook: Pretty much any written by Bette Hagman--especially "The Gluten-Free Gourmet"
*Magazine: "Living Well"
*Cake mix: 365 Organics Chocolate Mousse Cake (Unfortunately, very unfortunately, that company doesn't make that cake any more.)
*Pre-packaged GF mixes and flours: Any from King Arthur Flour Company (except I'm not fond of their pancake mix), Bob's Red Mill (try the Raspberry Oat Bars recipe on the back of the GF oat flour package and the Oatmeal Pancake recipe on the back of the regular oat flour package)
*Brownies: my homemade ones adapted from the Baker's Unsweetened Chocolate box (inside) or the King Arthur Flour Company pre-packaged ones.
*Pancakes: my homemade buttermilk ones adapted from the aforementioned Bette Hagman cookbook.
*Donuts: Kinnickknick's Cinnamon Sugar Donuts
*Pizza rusts: Udi's
*Pizza chain: Romio's (Their garlic bread is fabulous, too.)

I will add more to the list in an upcoming post when I get around to it. Feel free to ask me any questions. Thank you for your attention.

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!!

2010-08-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

My mom is three-quarters of a century old today. If you do the math, it means that she is 75. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm sharing her age with my readers (however few in numbers they are). My grandma didn't want anyone to know her age, but many people asked me, "How old is your grandma?" Grandma said, "Tell them it's none of their business." So the next time someone asked me how old my grandma was, I said, "She said it's none of your business." I don't think Grandma really wanted me to say that, but I didn't know it. I lacked a certain degree of tact, apparently, when I was a youngster. But, I digress. On to my dearest mother.

My mom is a wonderful lady and has had some interesting experiences over the years. Here are a few facts--75 to be exact--about this amazing lady.

1. Her house didn't have a bathroom until she was a junior (or senior) in high school.
2. She liked to play tricks on her older siblings.
3. She worked on a hay-baler in her teenage years.
4. She was the youngest of 9 children.
5. One entire room of her house is devoted to chicken paraphernalia.
6. She is a whiz at Canasta.
7. Her brother is married to my dad's sister.
8. Don't even think about eating at her house unless you've washed your hands.
9. She is quite good at sports.
10. She is a magnificent cook but doesn't enjoy cooking as much as she used to.
11. She hosts many parties and gatherings at her house.
12. Her mother (my grandma, of course) lived with our family for many years during the late fall and winter months. I never remember the two of them having an argument.
13. She met my dad when she was in high school.
14. She picked out her engagement rings at her brother-in-law's jewelry store, and told my uncle to tell my dad that she wouldn't marry him unless he bought those rings for her.
15. She used to work in the Sears and ZCMI gift-wrapping departments.
16. She worked for a tax-preparation agency.
17. She grows a vegetable garden every year.
18. She loves berries of all sorts and used to have her own raspberry patch.
19. She makes the best pickled beets I've ever tasted.
20. She's even made beet jelly and peach pit jelly. No joke.
21. She is very meticulous.
22. She puts her whole heart and effort into everything she does.
23. She loves babies and children.
24. She has a "magic touch" with babies, and can make almost any baby stop crying.
25. Flying on an airplane often makes her ill.
26. I could be wrong on this fact, but I think she took her first airplane trip at 45 years of age.
27. The Sound of Music is her favorite movie.
28. Wheel of Fortune is her favorite thing to watch on television.
29. She doesn't really know much about using computers.
30. She loves to eat at Maddox (and a few other select restaurants), but she will claim that she doesn't like eating at restaurants.
31. She is quite frugal.
32. She dresses very nattily--even to go to the grocery store.
33. You will never ever see her in a pair of shorts.
34. She has a collection of Beanie Babies.
35. She likes ice cream with nuts.
36. Spiders terrify her. Snakes also.
37. She's not much of TV-watcher.
38. She still takes care of her childhood home in Idaho and loves going there often.
39. She loves spending time with her family--especially at the family lodge in Idaho.
40. She loved taking care of her mother and mother-in-law and was very good to both of them.
41. She enjoys traveling--especially by car.
42. She is a very loyal and loving friend.
43. She would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings, and she would be very sad if she unintentionally hurt anyone.
44. Her house is often a hotel for many visitors. People feel at home there.
45. She has a great singing voice.
46. One day she will win the Reader's Digest or Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!
47. She's an expert seamstress even though she doesn't sew much these days.
48. Doris Day is her favorite actress.
49. Nat King Cole is her favorite singer.
50. She became a mother at age 24.
51. She became a grandmother 3 months before her 50th birthday.
52. She used to have a penny collection (until my dad mistakenly spent it on a loaf of bread).
53. She doesn't swim.
54. She used to raise chickens and probably wouldn't mind doing it again.
55. Nothing of hers is out of order or out of place.
56. She belongs to a book club.
57. She is a very good driver and has never received a speeding ticket (that I know of).
58. She is gluten-sensitive.
59. She witnessed the birth of two of her grandsons (my boys).
60. She attended a business college.
61. Rock Hudson is her favorite actor. (At least, he used to be.)
62. Iron Port and Cherry is her favorite drink. (No, it's not alcoholic.)
63. She enjoys attending plays and musicals.
64. Her lemon meringue pie is so good, that her next-door neighbor asked her if my mom would put one along with a fork in her casket and bury her with it when she died. Mom honored her request (after "okaying" it with her family).
65. She is my dad's barber.
66. Even though she isn't an "animal person," she cared for a stray cat for a few years.
67. She doesn't like anything to go to waste.
68. She can out-work just about everybody I know.
69. She HATES the word "bored." It's a dirty word to her.
70. She won a beauty contest.
71. She isn't fond of spicy food.
72. Hiking through the Vienna Woods was a dream come true.
73. Meeting her Swedish and Danish relatives were miracles to her.
74. She just wants everyone to get along. (In other words, she hates contention.)
75. She doesn't like people making a fuss over her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!! I love you!!!

"Eyes" A Gettin' Older!

2010-08-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

I noticed my vision getting a little blurry a few months ago. Wearing my glasses didn't alleviate the problem. So, after procrastinating a bit and worrying that I might have an ophthalmic issue similar to my sister's, I scheduled an eye exam. Turns out that I do have an ophthalmic issue, but one unrelated to my sister's. It's actually related to aging. Can you guess what is wrong with my eyes?

Cataracts!!! Yes, it appears that I'm developing cataracts (mild at this point, but it looks like cataract surgery could be in my future) in both eyes, and I'm not 80 years old yet. I won't even be 51 for another 2 weeks or so. Aren't old people the only ones who get cataracts??? Am I old???? (Please don't tell me the answer to that question if it's "yes.") My little brown-noser Mark said, "You'll never be old in my book; just a little aged."

Gray hair I can live with. I just cover it up with hair dye. Varicose veins are a little harder to live with, but I cover them up with pants and long skirts. Wrinkled skin? Maybe cataracts are a good thing; they make it harder to see the wrinkles. Mark again: "I don't care about your wrinkles, Mom. You always look beautiful."

Beautiful, maybe? But, old!?!?!?!

Losing It

2010-06-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not as fat as I used to be. Still fatter than I want and plan to be, though; but, for now, I'm celebrating my success.

In March (the 11th, to be exact) I began the HCG Diet. I would say it's kind of a fad diet, but it has been around, supposedly, for 50 years. Some acquaintenaces have successfully "done it," so I thought I would try it. I tried the South Beach Diet a few years ago and lost a good amount of weight on that, but I gained most of it back.

I've been overweight for years--I don't want to think how many--and I just got tired of carrying all of that excess weight around. Really tired of it. I hated the way I looked, quite frankly. I committed myself to taking action. So, I bought the under-the-tongue drops (many self-administer injections, but I chose another route) and then read about the diet. Had I read all of the specifications first, I might not have bought the drops. It took me a full month to talk myself into starting the program. Meanwhile, I read the book WILLPOWER IS NOT ENOUGH. I must say that "willpower is NOT enough!"

It's a "simple" diet, but it ain't easy. At least, not at first. I had to change many, many things besides the kinds and amounts of food I ate. I had to realize that I couldn't eat in social settings while I was on the first phase of the diet (which lasts anywhere between 23 and 45 or so days).

I stayed on the first phase for 33 days and lost 27 pounds. Then, I began a maintenance phase which lasted 6 weeks. I lost another 6 pounds. (The diet "rules" say that you're not supposed to gain or lose more than 2 pounds while on "maintenance," but I didn't care how much I lost.) I'm back on the first phase and have been for 27 days with another 18 or so to go. In total, I've lost 44 pounds, 5.5 inches off my waist (yes, I do count the .5 inch) and am down 3 pant sizes. I feel GREAT!!! I'm hungry a lot of the time, but the hunger abates from time to time. Who's complaining when I'm losing???

Gynecological Record Holder

2010-06-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

I bet that title got your attention! (Don't worry, folks--I probably won't be sharing anything too embarrassing.) Blogging hasn't been high on my priority list lately. Not that my life is of little interest to any of you. Well, maybe it isn't. Just don't tell me, please. You should know that my boys finished their final exams today and I can finally hold a train of thought without worrying every second if they're doing their homework and trying to keep them on task.

Here is a little information that is sure to interest you. If it doesn't, please don't tell me.

It had been five years since my "annual" gynecological exam, but it had been much longer since I had been examined by my actual doctor. (Nurse Practitioner Hazel had had the privilege of examining me for a few years. It was easier to get in to see her than my very popular, busy doctor.) I decided I really needed to see the doctor because I didn't want to find myself in the position a friend found herself in at her annual exam. (Yes, I realize that "find myself in the position" is a poor choice of words to describe the exam.) My friend was found to have a tumor the size of a lemon on one of her ovaries. Turned out to be Stage 3 ovarian cancer. Not good. She is not doing well as the cancer has metastasized and she's enduring her 3rd round of chemotherapy.

Today was the day of my appointment. The first of today's visits turned out to be a "dry run." I was sitting in all my glory, clad with a scant paper top and a paper "covering," when the nurse informed me that my doctor had been called to assist in a C-section and could I wait 30 minutes or so or return later. (I had already waited in the office 1 hour up to this point. This took me back to time waiting and waiting in this same doctor's office when I was pregnant with 4 of my 5 babies.) I opted to return later as I had an appointment at the boys' school.

I returned to my doctor's office later and crossed my fingers that this time would be the last time today I'd have to undress. (Donning my pajamas later today doesn't count.) Luck was on my side as Dr. H. came cheerfully through the door and greeted me warmly. "It's very ironic that you should come in today," he said. Continuing, "Yesterday I delivered an 11 pound 5 ounce baby, and the mother gave birth naturally." He proceeded to tell me that he told the new mother that he had only delivered one other naturally-birthed baby that weighed the same as hers. And who was that baby? My very own Mark. So now Mark and I are tied for the record of biggest naturally-birthed baby delivered by Dr. H.

On to record #2. After looking over the results of my blood work, Dr. H. informed me that I have the lowest cholesterol (130) of any of his other patients that are my age. That is a very good record to hold. Congratulations to me and my good genes!

There is one other record he shared with me that I hope NOT to break or hold: that of being the oldest obstetric patient. One poor woman holds that record. She was 54 when she gave birth to her naturally-conceived baby. I will be VERY, VERY careful not to find myself in that position.

Mom in a Nutshell

2010-05-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day, my dearest and only mother! Thanks for having, loving and raising me. Some days I think I turned out pretty well. Here's a little tribute to you.

M is for muscles. My mom is a strong woman.
O is for outstanding. Whatever she does is outstanding. No half-baked efforts on her part.
T is for tact. Mom is tactful. Very tactful.
H is for helpful. She helps anyone in need, including me.
E is for energetic. Although she's not a "spring chicken" any more, she has more energy for someone her age than anyone I know.
R is for righteous. What more can I say?

I love you, Mom!!!

Random Ramblings

2010-05-04T09:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I lunched with a cloistered nun--probably a one-time experience for me. Rosann, the nun's mother, is my friend and has ovarian cancer. She's enduring her second round of chemotherapy. She's fervently prayed for a miracle, and the miracle arrived in the form of her daughter Ann, the nun. I'm not too familiar with the inner workings of the Catholic church, but learned that once a cloistered nun takes her vows, her life belongs to the church and most contact with her family ceases. Ann received special permission from the prioress to fly cross country to have a 6-day visit with her mom. Rosann invited many of her friends to her home yesterday to meet and eat with her daughter. I am very happy that Rosann and Ann could have this reunion, but sad that Ann can't give her mom the ongoing support and contact she needs.

Mark enjoys playing Roblox, an online game. The other night as he played, two of his teammates were warring against each other. One teammate complained to the other, "Why are you killing me; I'm on your team?" Mark, the observer, typed, "Come what may and love it."

On our way to school this morning, we passed a church marquis that contained this question: "What would Jesus tweet?" Mark replied, "Come what may and love it."

Book Clubs

2010-04-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

This morning my mom told me that one of her fellow book club members just died. (The deceased member isn't the first in Mom's club to pass on to the Big Book Club in the Sky.) This bit of information made me think about the book club to which I belong. It's quite different than Mom's club. No one has died in my club; but that isn't the only difference. Shall I list more? Okay.

*Mom is one of the youngest members of her club; I'm the oldest in mine. (I must act younger than my age.)
*Mom's club has to "vote in" new members; we are non-exclusive. (Hey, they took me!)
*One member of Mom's club reads a book and reports on it each month--kind of like a book report. We all (or mostly all) read the same book.
*Mom's club spends most of their meeting learning and asking questions about the book. We spend a few minutes talking about the book, but the discussion always involves other subjects (i.e. husbands, children, diets, etc.)
*The non-widows in Mom's club invite their husbands to a summer book club social. Our husbands are busy taking care of our children while we're occupied in club meetings.
*The members of Mom's book club are all empty-nesters. Excepting the single lady members, the rest of us still have growing children living under our roofs.
*Mom's book club probably would never choose to read "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" and "100 Years of Solitude." Unfortunately, ours did.
*Mom doesn't particularly enjoy attending her book club meetings. Book club is a monthly highlight for me.

Recent Photos

2010-04-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

Lane, Cindy, Noah and Makenzie with us at the Idaho Falls Temple.

Josh, Annica and Bonnie with Lance and me at the IF Temple. (A & J received their temple endowments and were sealed Saturday, April 17.)

Nephews Tanner and Brennen with their new chicks.
Tanner with Arthur.
Feeding frenzy.
Brother Blake with Tanner and Brennen at the new chicken coop Blake built.
Lanette and Cleo.

Everyone who traveled to Idaho Falls to help Josh and Annica celebrate.

Sara's 20th birthday lunch at Rainforest Cafe.

A Little Mix-up

2010-04-07T07:07:00.001-07:00

I'm a member of the committee that provides refreshments for the monthly ICS PTSA meetings. After last month's meeting, the committee chair asked that more food be provided for April's meeting. I decided to make some sandwiches using Costco rolls and homemade curried chicken salad. I made 27.

I delivered the sandwiches to the school district headquarters where the meetings are usually held; however, the meeting room was dark and unoccupied. The receptionist directed me to another room. Turns out, it was the ICS finance committee meeting and there were 2 attendees. (The committee chair told me that the regular PTSA meeting had been postponed one week.) They expected a few (like 3) more people to show up. I couldn't take the sandwiches home, because I was heading to south Bellevue to take Sara to institute and wouldn't return for over 2 hours. I didn't think the sandwiches would be fit to eat after that, and besides, we don't eat bread (at least the kind that contains gluten). So, I left the sandwiches with the finance committee. 27 divided by 5 equals 5.4. I have a feeling each attendee did not eat 5.4 sandwiches.

The finance committee didn't seemed to mind, as the chair said, "Gee, this is the first time we've ever had refreshments at our meeting!" I told her to let me know when their next meeting would be held and I would deliver refreshments again. Not!

Sew What?

2010-04-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Here's a little peek at two projects that have occupied my time most of the week: a quilt top and kitchen curtains. I enjoy sewing, but if you really must know, I'm not that good at it. I enjoy being creative and making things; however, they're never quite "perfect" according to my standards. I guess I'll have to keep trying.

Oh, by the way, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!! (I'm not fooling when I say that I really made these items.)

Emergency Supplies

2010-03-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

I can't count the number of times my kids have come to me at the "last minute" requesting supplies for school or a church activity. Just yesterday, 10 minutes before we left for school (and he/she had to be on time to school for a major exam), one of my children (who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) said he/she needed tabbed dividers. I nervously bounded upstairs to look in our supply closet hoping that the extra ones I'd bought for the last emergency were still there. Lo and behold (and thankfully) they were. Very late Sunday night another child (who shall also remain nameless and is another chronic offender) said he/she needed posterboard to complete a school assignment that night. Yes, we had that, too, but it was semi-bent and dusty. Who cared at that point?

I wish these were isolated incidents. They're not. Maybe your children are perfect and you never find yourself in these types of situations. Maybe they're like my almost-perfect children, and you do. In that case, let me offer some advice as a semi-seasoned mother of children ranging in age from nearly 13 to nearly 25.

Buy in bulk before the school year begins. This is approximately the amount of school supplies you should have on hand for those (in my case) not-so-rare emergencies. You may need to devote one room of your house to store these items.

At least 10 protractors--and place them in various locations throughout your home
5 sets of tabbed dividers
5 extra 3-ringed binders
6 boxes of pencils
6 boxes of pens
10 glue sticks
5 pink erasers
3 or more packages of lined (college or wide-ruled) 8.5x11" paper
3 or more packages of copy/printer paper
2 packages of card stock in assorted colors
5 Sharpies
5 Flair markers
3 boxes of crayons
3 boxes of colored pencils
2 bottles of white-out
2 printer cartridges in black
2 printer cartridges in color
Prismacolors (expensive!)
10 pieces of posterboard (white and colored)
3 staplers
2 boxes of staples
1 large container of paper clips
1 large box of sheet protectors
10 pair of scissors
10 rolls of tape
2 rolls of masking tape
2 rolls of duct tape
Pain killers (for you)
5 pocket folders
5 report folders
5 packs of 3x5" cards (lined and unlined)
5 packs of 4x6" cards (lined and unlined)
2 dictionaries
A stack of blank CDs
5 flash drives
large pack of Post-It Notes
5 calculators (including 1 scientific one)
A plethora of batteries in various sizes

Have I omitted anything? If so, I probably have it somewhere in my house.

Thank-you Fight

2010-03-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

"Thank you, again, Mom," Mark said after I bought a fast-food meal at the Golden Arches today (bunless burgers and grilled chicken salad, of course).

"Why do you always have to have the last word, Mark?" asked Zachary.

This started a thank-you "fight" of sorts between Sara, Zachary and Mark, with "thank-yous" being flung fast-paced at me. Since the expressions were zinging so quickly, I mostly can't remember who said what, but the comments went something like this:

"Thank you, again, again."

"Thanks, Mom. Oh, I can't remember if I said 'thank you,' so thank you again."

"Thanks for saying 'you're welcome,' Mom."

"Thanks for thanking Mom for saying 'you're welcome.'"

"I forgot again whether or not I said 'thank you,' so thank you."

Then Sara said, "I'm going to be mature about this and not feel the need to get in the last word, but thank you, Mom."

Of course, Mark had to add, "Thanks for putting up with all of this, Mom."

It was all in good fun. I think.

The Sausage Fairy

2010-03-05T11:50:00.001-08:00

Perhaps you have heard of the Tooth Fairy or the Good Fairy. Have you ever heard of the Sausage Fairy? I didn't think so. The Sausage Fairy is a beloved and regular visitor at our house. She seems to know just when she's needed most and arrives, warm sausages in hand, to deliver sausages to a boy in the upper bunk. She even provides the plate, fork and a beverage.

She knows when it's most important for said bunk boy to wake up on time and with a good attitude. Her magic never fails. Bunk boy discovers the plated sausages near his pillow and the beverage on the bunk ladder. He smiles, props himself up on one elbow and quickly devours the food. He promptly climbs out of bed, deposits the dishes in the kitchen sink and happily gets ready for the day.

Sometimes the Sausage Fairy leaves a few extra links in a pan on the stove for others in the family to enjoy. How we love the Sausage Fairy!

Lest you feel sorry for the boy in the lower bunk, please know that the Oatmeal Fairy and the Scrambled Egg Fairy alternately visit him at 5:30 each morning of the school week. These fairies also deliver vitamins and Ovaltine-laced milk.

What kind of fairy would be most helpful in your household?

False Sense of Immunity

2010-03-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

In an effort to be more humble and to save others who might otherwise find themselves the victims of a scam, I'm "coming clean" on something that happened earlier this week. I acted stupidly. Mark said, "You weren't stupid, just arrogant." Stupid or arrogant? Label me as you see fit.

Spotting a scam? Piece of cake! Or so I thought. Whenever I'd see or hear a report on someone being scammed, I thought something like that would never happen to me. Famous last words.

It all started with an ad for a car on Craiglist that looked a little too good to be true. I emailed the seller. A few little red flags went up, but not enough to discourage me too much. More emails were exchanged and I received a very official-looking "invoice" from "ebay." I did a little bit of research. I should have done more. However, thanks to a series of very fortunate, blessed events, none of our money was lost. The police officers were kind, but wondered why I hadn't seen this on the news. (I rarely watch the news.)

It could have been worse. My pride was hurt, but I still have my money. We still need a car.

Dad's Favorites

2010-02-25T10:07:00.000-08:00

My dearest and only father is 77 years old today. We love him dearly around here. He is a great dad, a fabulous father-in-law, and a wonderful grandpa. He lives 800 miles away from us, so we don't get to see him as often as we would like. We try to keep him informed of our family happenings. He enjoys hearing from us, especially when we have funny stories to share. Here are some of his favorite stories about our kids:

ANNICA: We attended Expo 86 in Vancouver shortly after moving to Washington. We rented an RV and drove with Grandpa and Grandma and Mom and Dad to Canada. Annica was 16 months old and an active toddler. She enjoyed the fair attached to us by a "kid leash." We all sat in the front row of a crowded theater to watch something akin to Disney's California Adventure "Soaring Over California," only it was "soaring over British Columbia." As she watched, Annica exclaimed--in her loudest, little voice--"WOWEE!" We all laughed, especially her grandpa. Her grandpa took great delight in everything Annica did. He was especially proud that she could name all colors (even aqua), letters of the alphabet and numbers at the tender age of 16 months.

RACHELLE: Dad always enjoyed cuddling with a very affectionate Rachelle. We've often said that Rachelle looks like a cross between my dad and Lance's mom. Dad particularly enjoys this "Rachelle" story. Rachelle accompanied me to the grocery story one day when she was three. Our courtesy clerk had Downs Syndrome, and I was very worried that Rachelle would make an innocent, but hurtful remark to this boy (because she often embarrassed me like that). However, Rachelle kept her thoughts to herself. When we were safely inside the car away from the ears of this clerk, I asked Rachelle, "Did that guy look like a regular person--just like you and me?" "No," she replied, "He looked just like a pig; but I didn't tell him that."

SARA: Dad and Mom have stayed with us on numerous occasions. The kids enjoyed snuggling with their grandparents when they awoke each morning of their visit. One morning as Sara cuddled with her grandpa, Grandpa asked for a kiss: "Give me a smack, Sara." It was obvious Sara didn't know the alternate meaning of "smack" when she slapped her grandpa across the face. That was the last time he asked for a kiss that way.

ZACHARY: Dad has especially delighted in Zachary's naivete over the years. Zachary attended Rosie's Preschool as a 4-year-old. One day as I waited outside the school with the other parents, Rosie came out ahead of the kids to tell a classmate's father that his son had wet his pants that day. While driving home, I asked Zachary, "Did John wet his pants today?" Zach answered, "No. He just got water in his shoes."

MARK: I really don't know what Dad's favorite "Mark story" is. There are so many. So, I will just let him comment on this post to list his favorite story and then I will post it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dad!!!

Afternoon at the Lake

2010-02-21T15:10:00.000-08:00

Rachelle, Sara and I headed to the lake yesterday to enjoy the scenery and beautiful, warm sunshine. Sara was tempted to take a little swim if I had given her $500. I declined.

R.I.P., R.V.

2010-02-12T15:52:00.000-08:00

Call me sentimental, but I'm having a hard time parting with our recently totaled car (red van or "RV"). Though battered and bruised, patched and repaired, she served us well for many years. Now she sits in an auto body repair parking lot waiting to be transported to her final resting place. Here is a little poem I wrote in her honor.

With a tear in my eye,
I bid you, "Good-bye"
Our trusty Windstar--
The ugly, smashed car.

Stinging Singing Lesson

2010-02-01T19:26:00.001-08:00

"I was sitting in church yesterday and we were singing the closing song, and I had to hold the hymn book over my ear so I couldn't hear you messing up the last line," Sara told her father tonight at Family Home Evening.

She proceeded to tell him how he "messed up" by alternating between the bass, melody and alto parts and how he sang so loudly she couldn't even hear the music. "You messed up four times," she continued. She showed him the song in the hymn book, the particular half-note he missed, and sang the notes correctly for him to hear.

"Shall the youth of Zion falter? No!" Their parents might, though, especially when it comes to singing.

Oh, the Irony!

2010-01-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

Less than two weeks ago, we spent just under $1,300 in repairs to and new tires for our 1998 Ford Windstar (mileage 160,000). We debated whether to make the repairs or buy another vehicle. Given that the van is used mainly by Rachelle at college and for work transportation, we decided to go forward with the repairs and tires. (We'd also paid for a new transmission a couple of years ago.) We hoped that our trusty, oft-repaired and banged-up red van (aka "RV") would last until at least Rachelle graduated, got a job and bought her own vehicle. This morning, our hopes were dashed.

The good news is that Rachelle and the other driver were uninjured. Rachelle is stiff, sore, and in pain. (I guess saying that she's sore also means that she's in pain.) The other good news is that she works for a chiropractor who can fix her up. The bad news is that the accident (in which both drivers were cited for different reasons) totaled our car and perhaps the other driver's car as well. Another bit of "good" news is that, since the tires are so new, we can get a little money for them.

Stay tuned, if you're interested. I'm sure there'll be more to this story. (Remind me to tell you about all of the college paraphernalia Rachelle left in the vehicle that her father had begged her to remove. Guess who removed it? I suppose I just told that part of the story.)

Fair Warning

2010-01-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

Mark helped me prepare tonight's dinner. As the family entered the kitchen, he said, "Be prepared for a little food poisoning."

It's been an hour or so since we finished dinner and, so far, no one has become ill. Stay tuned . . .

I Want to be . . .

2010-01-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

A sweet, young mother friend of mine recently wrote about "the kind of a mom" she wants to be. She copied another friend's list and noted that she will add her own items as she gains more motherhood experience. Reading her blog post got me thinking along the same lines, but with a different slant.

Here's my list in no particular order. By the way, it's not all-inclusive. Oh, and, please don't judge me.

I want to be . . .

*. . . the kind of a mom who doesn't take offense when a child says, "You've ruined my life."

*. . . the kind of a mom who realizes that a child's perception is their reality. (Think about it.)

*. . . the kind of a mom who doesn't cry over spilled milk. Or snipped levelor blinds. Or stories written in black permanent marker on the wall. Or "accidental" haircuts. Or flooded toilets, flooded bathrooms, flooded hallways. Or sopping wet basement ceiling tiles.

*. . . the kind of a mom who patiently teaches "Toilet Roll Replacement 101" over and over and over ad nauseum.

*. . . the kind of a mom who doesn't panic when the school principal calls (for the 200th time).

*. . . the kind of mom who never owns a television (unless she keeps it hidden in a closet and sneaks it out only to watch football or THE AMAZING RACE).

*. . . the kind of mom who could lovingly influence her children to never be interested in video games.

*. . . the kind of a mom who could inspire her children to always trust her with the truth.

*. . . the kind of a mom who really isn't at all bothered when her children wear mismatching clothes or doesn't comb their hair before being seen in public.

*. . . the kind of a mom who remains unflappable in the face of a child's angry outburst(s).

*. . . the kind of a mom who always remembers to leave the window slightly ajar for the Tooth Fairy to enter.

*. . . the kind of a mom who sits calmly and quietly in the passenger seat while being driven about by her student-driver child.

*. . . the kind of a mom who isn't burdened by unnecessary guilt (whatever that means).

*. . . the kind of a mom who lives with few, if any, regrets.

Call Screening

2010-01-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

Because we have "caller I.D.," we screen our calls. Rest assured that we answer calls from everyone we know but don't answer most calls from solicitors or callers with unknown numbers. When the phone rang this evening, the caller I.D. showed "FFFF" (Feature Films for Families). I get way too many calls from them, and I get tired of giving the same answers to the same questions to the same guy. (I hope none of you know him.)

Sara was closest to the phone when it rang, so I asked, "Who is it?"

"FFFF," she replied.

"At least it isn't the KKK," Mark quipped.

Mark's First Quotes of 2010

2010-01-01T13:22:00.001-08:00

"How come you can't be like a regular woman and not watch football?"

"I wish I could audit all of my classes."

Would You Remember?

2009-12-29T11:53:00.000-08:00

If you were a pre-teen boy who had had his video game-playing privileges revoked and the gaming systems removed from the house on numerous occasions--once for 18 months--would you remember the rules when the game systems were reinstalled? I'm just asking.

Sorry!

2009-12-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

One of the highlights of Rachelle's year is playing Sorry! with Uncle David during the holidays. Rachelle and Uncle David are the two regular participants. The other two vary from year to year. Mark and Candace were the other opponents last evening.

Part of the fun is watching Uncle David's antics. Sometimes a pocket knife is involved. Other times he may sit atop the dining room table while playing. Banter, taunts, mild "threats," heckling and the like are part of the competition. Most of the time, Uncle David loses despite his very best, competitive efforts to win. Last night, he won. He celebrated with a victory dance.

The "G" Family

2009-12-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

We recently got together with our good friends and former neighbors, the "G" family--parents John and Cindy, and kids Andrew, Jennifer and Jessica. We've shared many fun and not-so-fun times (like our mutual lice experience) over the years. Sara and Jessica once got into mischief that involved the police.

Rachelle and Jennifer still "hang out" whenever they get the chance and remain very close friends.

Whenever I tell Zach that I'm visiting with his "best friend," he'll ask, "Cindy?" Cindy and I used to swap babysitting. She'd watch Sara and Zachary one day a week while I ran errands, and I watched Jessica another day while she did the same. Zach felt like their home was his home and would often walk into their house and announce, "Cindy, I'm home!" Other times he would sneak in unannounced. He enjoyed playing video games with DooDoo (Andrew). He once had a belching contest with John.

Cindy and I visited Andrew and Annica's fourth grade classroom (with preschoolers Jessica and Sara in tow) while the students were very quitely busy with a Halloween activity. Sara loudly proclaimed, "I love you, Andrew!"

Jessica is studying at a beauty school and needs practice cutting hair. Mark was a willing subject. Here is the "after" picture.

We love this family, but don't get to see them often enough. Cindy currently lives and works in Doha, Qatar and comes home every 12 weeks or so.

Unique Prayer Request

2009-12-16T05:47:00.000-08:00

I have said and listened to thousands upon thousands of prayers in my 50 years, but never have I heard this prayer request until last night: "Please bless me that water won't seep into my shoes from the bottom and get my feet wet; and please bless me that my shoes will get better traction." Amen!

Participial Phrases

2009-12-14T19:52:00.001-08:00

Another day, another homework battle at our house. Of course, I'm referring to Mark. Who else would it be? Tonight's first subject was Humanities. The assignment was to write participial phrases. Instead of the assignment at hand, there was stalling, begging for TV (it helps you think, you know), whining, fiddling around . . . you name it.

Finally, Mark admitted to needing help. "I can't think of any participial phrases."

I could think of plenty:
*Punishing your son
*Taking privileges away
*Whining all the time
*Throwing a tantrum
*Spanking my son's bottom (just kidding, of course)
*Going to your room
*Missing out on Christmas gifts
*Acting like an infant
*Failing this assignment
*Shortening your mother's life

Should I Do It?

2009-12-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

Many people have told me that I "should write a book." Not just any book, mind you. A book filled with anecdotes about my children--actually, one child in particular. I could do that. People might even buy it.

What I really should do is to write a book that includes anecdotes about all of my children. However, my offspring would be embarrassed, to say the least, to read what I wrote about them. Some of the stories would be stranger than fiction. Trust me.

I toy with the idea of writing the book under an assumed name and changing the names of my kids to "protect the innocent" (or the "guilty" as the case may be).

(One chapter could be about the essays some of my darlings have written. Just tonight, one youngish boy of mine wrote a paragraph about how seeing things burn gives him a calm, tranquil feeling. I'm a little worried that, should an arson occur close to our home, my boy might be considered a "person of interest.")

Back to the subject at hand: should I write the book?

Food for Thought

2009-12-02T13:13:00.001-08:00

Upon emerging from the shower, Mark announced: "While showering, a thought came to me: why do our stomachs heal faster than our skin? What causes it? How can we incorporate the healing properties of our stomach into our skin?"

Perhaps he has a career in medical research in his future.

Hello, Cousin!!

2009-11-30T12:14:00.001-08:00

Sadie is Rachelle's 6-year-old yellow Labrador Retriever. Max is Annica and Josh's 10-month-old Olde English Bulldogge. Therefore, Sadie and Max are "cousins." They hadn't met until early Thanksgiving morning when Max arrived with Annica and Josh.

Since Sadie's mom (aka Rachelle) wasn't here to help with the introduction, she gave us very specific instructions as to how the two should meet. Annica and Josh were to alert us (which they did) when they were in a few yards of our house. Lance was to (which he did) take Sadie into the backyard. Annica and Josh were to lead Max on his leash (which they did) into the backyard and allow Sadie to sniff Max. (Due to the sensitive natures of some of my readers, I will not mention any of the "sniffing" details. You're welcome.)

Rachelle plead with the nervous grandmother (aka Me) to stay upstairs so as not to influence the dogs with her anxious vibes. The nervous grandmother complied with her wishes. Nervous Grandmother envisioned a raucous session of barking, chasing, nipping and growling. None of her worries materialized.

The dogs were quite civil to each other. Since this all took place at 3:30 am, the tired humans (especially Josh and Annica who had traveled all night) opted to crate both dogs and retire for the remainder of the "night."

The photos above were taken a few hours after the initial meeting. As you can see, there was chasing, more sniffing, and a little bit of barking and growling. All in all, Nervous Grandmother was very pleasantly surprised at how the dogs interacted with each other. If only all people of the world could cooperate like Max and Sadie, the canine cousins!

Will Work for Food

2009-11-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

I suppose it's no secret to my friends that I bribe my children. I don't really like to call it bribery; instead, I prefer to label it "motivation." My kids are motivated by food. Let's say that I want Mark to do his homework. He doesn't. Here's a typical conversation:

Me: "I have to run errands."

Mark: "Will you get me a 'Hearty Bowl' at Jack in the Box?"

Me: "I'll call you on my way home and see if your homework is done. If it is, I may get a Hearty Bowl for you."

I run errands. I call home. Fifty-percent of the time, the homework is done and I visit Jack. That leaves the other 50% of the time where I return home empty-handed to a cranky boy. Too bad, so sad.

So, Mark is motivated by JITB Hearty Bowls. And eggnog (with Sprite). Those are his current favorites. My other kids (at least the ones who currently reside with us) are motivated by:

SARA: guacamole and bacon and fries
ZACHARY: Jamba Juice

What will YOU work for?

Striking Feature

2009-11-12T15:45:00.000-08:00

Me: "Who taught your Spanish class today since your teacher was sick?"

Mark: "A person with painted-on eyebrows."

I'm So Worried

2009-11-11T20:27:00.000-08:00

"You realize this is going on your permanent record, Mom," is what I was told after I issued this ultimatum: "Either do your homework or go to bed."

Living With ADD/ADHD

2009-11-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

For quite some time, I've intended to write about what it's like to live with ADD/ADHD. (Some members of my family are blessed with this "condition.) I keep getting distracted, though. I'll begin now. Oops! I gotta get the milk out of the milk box. Bye!

Perception is Reality

2009-11-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

Because I am an imperfect parent, my children have accused me of many things over the years. I don't listen. I spoil one child (or another) more than others. I don't make so-and-so do as many chores. I allowed others more privileges. I spent more money on the other children. I never keep my promises. I didn't properly warn of consequences. I let one particular child do something I didn't allow the other children to do. I give longer back rubs to another child. I didn't take as many pictures of one child as I did of the others. I delayed seeking treatment for a child's vision problems. I could go on ad nauseam, but I don't want to further depress myself.

I try to listen to each complaint leveled against me and jog the recesses of my memory to see if I'm guilty of the accusations. Perhaps, sometimes I am. I think, however, most of the time I am not. I have learned, though, that no amount of reasoning or explaining convinces the accuser of their errant thinking. To them (and probably to most of us), perception is reality. They really believe they are justified in their accusations.

I must admit that I was dumbfounded when Sara, the 19.5-year-old, accused me of NEVER buying her her very own Barbie. WHAT?!?!?!? For years, we seemed to have a house full of Barbies, Barbie clothes, Barbie furniture, and Barbie accessories. Barbie shoes were everywhere. Lance even built a sturdy, wooden, large Barbie house for the girls. Grandma Markie made lovely Barbie beds. I simply refused to believe that I never bought a Barbie for Sara.

Upon further questioning, Sara admitted that if I actually had bought her a Barbie, I took it away before she was old enough to play with it. Further, we expunged all traces of Barbie from the house during Sara's formative years. How could we be such callous, uncaring parents? What emotional scars we must have caused our precious princess! I am horrified!!!

Today, I did the only thing I could think to do to atone for my grevious sin: I bought Sara a Barbie. Her face just lit up when I gave it to her. She carefully removed the packaging and freed Barbie from her plastic restraints. Lovingly, she stroked Barbie's "stiff" hair. "Her hair needs to be washed, Mom."

Imagine Sara's glee when I said, "She's yours to do whatever you want with her. If you want to mar her face with permanent marker, you may. You may even cut her hair. You're free to do with her whatever makes you happy."

Happiness is knowing that for at least today, I made one child happy.

Goodbye, Al Capone!

2009-11-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

Had I remembered to photograph him last night, I would have posted a picture of Al Capone (aka Mark) today. It's too late for that, however, as Al Capone's costume is in our garbage receptacle at the curb awaiting trash pick-up tomorrow. The costume is ruined.

All week long Mark pleaded with me to get an Al Capone costume for him. He wanted to dress up for school Friday and for Halloween. I procrastinated, explaining, "When you get caught up on your homework, I will get the costume." The "witching hour" approached and I thought I was off the hook. Thirty minutes before store closing Thursday night, he met his goal.

I headed to the store to play the perennial game "Compete for Last-minute Costumes." I scanned the costume displays and found several Al Capone get-ups. Not a one was Mark's size. Should I get a men's medium (too big) or a boys' medium (too small)? Since the men's was $10 more than the boys', I bought the boys'. It was a risk I was willing to take even knowing the costume was unreturnable.

Back at home, Mark tried on the costume and was pleased as punch even though it was quite small. He couldn't raise his arms above chest level. The bottom of the pants was about 6 inches above his ankles. He looked like a gangly gangster, but a cute one. The white knee-high socks, black dress shoes and black fedora completed the outfit. He wore the outfit to school Friday. (I was afraid that he would rip the seat of his pants if he bent over.)

After class, Zachary and Mark raced to the car to claim the front seat. In their rush, Zach accidentally tripped Mark sending him sprawling on the sidewalk. The pinstripe gangster pants were ripped at the knee and bloodied by the knee wound. Both hands were scraped as well. Through his tears and after a scolding of his brother, Mark forgave Zachary but was devastated that his costume was "ruined." I assured him that the costume could be repaired, but he was unconvinced. It took some explaining to get him to have hope that the costume could be worn again.

Yesterday Mark had more homework to complete, and he asked if I would repair the tear in his costume. Sounding like a broken record, I again said, "I will do it after you finish your homework." Realizing that his fate was in my hands, he sewed the hole closed himself. However, he wasn't allowed to trick-or-treat until the homework was done. He got a late start and finished quickly, getting just enough candy to barely satisfy him. He then attended a party with Lance and me.

Somehow during the course of the evening, the repaired knee hole became unrepaired and grew larger. His costume met a fate similar to one many of Mark's other clothes met over the years--very large, unexplanable holes appeared out of nowhere rendering the clothing beyond repair. The costume was discarded and just memories are left. There are no pictures.

Lost It

2009-10-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

How do you respond to a child who announces, "I've lost my work ethic?"

My creative juices are running on empty, so I'm open to any and all suggestions.

Ado Annie

2009-10-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

If you're familiar with the musical Oklahoma!, then you know that Ado Annie is the girl who "caint say no." Ado Annie 2.0 lives at our house, but she answers to the name of "Sara." She has gotten herself into a "terrible fix" or two because of her inability to reject undesirable would-be suitors. These gentlemen catch her in a moment of weakness--while she's eating unaccompanied.

The first "fix" occurred over a year ago. Sara was employed at a local craft store and often lunched at a sushi restaurant. As she got into the car one day after work, she announced, "It seems like I have a date with a Guatemalan waiter." The waiter's English was incomprehensible, but that didn't matter. Sara is fluent in Spanish. She didn't want to go out with the waiter, but she didn't know how to respond to his request for a date and her phone number. "It was the only thing I could think to do," was her explanation when I asked why she had accepted his invitation and given him her number.

On her cell phone, she recorded a message in Spanish to the waiter telling him she "couldn't" go out with him. He called her 26 times attempting to reach her. He finally gave up. Sara hasn't returned to that sushi restaurant even though she loves sushi.

The second "fix" occurred last week. Tuesdays are long days for Sara as she stays at school from 8:30 am until 5:10 pm. She finds some place to eat dinner and then walks to her Institute of Religion class (7:00 to 8:30 pm) across the street from the college. She's eaten at Dairy Queen the last two weeks. The first week, she apparently caught the eye of a male employee there. The next week, the guy (who Sara estimates to be about 25 years old) was just getting off work when Sara arrived. He sat by her as she ate and they ended up talking for 2 hours. Guess what? He asked for her phone number. Guess what else? She gave it to him. "It was the only thing I could think to do," she again told me.

Mr. DQ has called Sara 4 times and she hasn't answered because she hasn't been near her phone when he's called. Not to worry, though, because Mr. DQ hasn't given up. He called our home phone last night. Sara told him that it wasn't "a good time to talk." I suspect he will call again.

Mark said that she should have given him "the telephone number to the Rejection Hotline."

The other night, Sara and I stopped at another eating establishment to pick up dinner for the rest of the family. She asked, "You're not going to leave me here alone, are you?"

In a related situation, Sara met one of Rachelle's former would-be suitors at her religion class. Rachelle had no trouble giving him the shaft, but Sara wasn't quite as assertive. Now another guy has Sara's number.

I think some assertiveness training is in order for our Ado Annie. Either that or she needs to give out the number to the Rejection Hotline.

New Shoes or A Hearty Bowl

2009-10-19T16:35:00.001-07:00

This is for you, Susan:

BACKGROUND INFORMATION, SECTION 1: Mark's latest food addiction is a Jack in the Box "hearty bowl." I've never tasted one, but it looks like a mixture of "hashbrowns," bacon, sausage, cream sauce and cheese. Mark likes his sans cream sauce and cheese. I can get him to do almost anything (except maybe homework) for a hearty bowl. If I'm running errands and Lance is home supervising homework, I will often phone home to see if Mark is engaged in a productive activity (i.e. doing homework). If he is, I'll usually stop by JITB and purchase a hearty bowl to take home. My reward is a hug, a kiss and a flowery expression of gratitude.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION, SECTION 2: The shoelaces broke in Mark's shoes that I purchased a month or so ago. They were elasticized laces and "worked" differently than normal ones. Mark was convinced that the shoes could no longer be worn and has begged for new shoes for several days. Lance tried to convince him that he didn't need new shoes, just new laces. Mark disagreed. He tried to win me over to seeing the shoe situation his way.

During my errand-running this afternoon, I called home to check on things ("things" meaning whether or not homework was being done). Mark asked if I planned to purchase new shoes for him and if I would get him a hearty bowl. When I mentioned that I was only going to buy laces instead of shoes unless he had the money to buy shoes, he replied, "Okay, you can just get me the laces. Will you still get me a hearty bowl, though?"

I returned home with shoelaces and hearty bowls (1 for Mark and 1 for Zach). I'm a good mom--today.

Anything for Money

2009-10-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

Lance and I were apartment managers in Mountain View, California the first year of Annica's life. We lived in kind of a rough neighborhood where drug deals and episodes of domestic violence were common. In fact, Lance, at my insistence, knocked on our upstairs neighbor's door and interrupted a drug bust. (Of course, I didn't KNOW a drug bust was taking place. I had just seen the paramedics haul someone out to the ambulance from that apartment, and I asked Lance to check on those tenants.) The police thought Lance had come to buy drugs. We reported a domestic violence situation to the police when we heard our next-door neighbors violently fighting and throwing furniture.

Needless to say, baby Annica and I didn't venture outside our apartment too often unless we were accompanied by others. We tended to occupy ourselves by playing with toys, reading books and listening to music in our little apartment. I also stayed busy with apartment complex paperwork, showing apartments, tending to the pool and being on cockroach watch. (Our roach motels had many occupants. "They check in, but they never check out.")

Another one of my diversions was watching television. I became addicted to "Leave it to Beaver" reruns. I rarely missed an episode of that show. I liked it so much that I decided to have my own version of Eddie Haskell. But, I digress. The other television show that captured my attention was "Anything for Money." The aim of the show was to get unsuspecting people to become involved in strange pranks/scenarios for as little money as possible. Of course, the people had no idea they were being "played" as the scenarios were, in most cases, cleverly disguised as real-life situations. Seriously, though, who could possibly think that climbing into a barrel to exchange clothes with a mostly-naked man could be a true, real-life situation?

I was completely fascinated to see how many people would do just about anything (i.e. swallow a live goldfish, allow themselves to be wrapped in aluminum foil and be rotisseried on top of a car, break up with a stranger's "girlfriend," etc.) for just a few dollars. The amount paid for each prank ranged from $10 to over $100.

The show didn't stay on the air for very long, but it's impact on me has been long-lasting. Every time I learn of a shady politician, a cheat or thief, someone being willing to pose for a pornographic magazine or an individual who tries to monetarily capitalize on their "15 minutes of fame" (and the list goes on), I think of that show. Yes, it's true--many people would do just about anything for money.

Altered State

2009-10-06T07:29:00.001-07:00

Our usual morning routine consists of me driving Zachary to Seminary and then an hour later Lance taking Mark up to the church where they pick Zachary and two other girls up and drive them 6 miles to school. I transport Sara to school in Bellevue.

This morning our routine was altered because Lance taught Seminary. I had to take Mark up to the church to meet Lance, Zachary and the girls afterward. When we arrived at the church, Lance and company were waiting for Mark in the car.

Mark asked me, "Are you ready for the transfer of hostages?"

Animal Farm

2009-09-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

I've never read George Orwell's Animal Farm. I have, however, read books about animal farms. And several books just about animals. I wouldn't consider myself an "animal" person, but animal behavior fascinates me. One might think that because I've read so many animal tales that I would be tempted to add more animals to our one-animal house. Not so. I don't ever picture myself owning a bird, cat or other domesticated animal besides our dog, Sadie. I don't even plan to get a "replacement" dog when Sadie no longer resides with us. She is daughter Rachelle's dog, you see.

Here, before your eyes, is a fairly comprehensive list of the animal books that I have read. I highly recommend most of them:

Marley and Me
Modoc (claims to be a true story, but I have my doubts; also a little graphic on several levels)
Enslaved by Ducks
The Parrot Who Owns Me
The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill
The Rhino with the Glue-On Shoes
All Things Bright and Beautiful
Homer's Odyssey
Wesley the Owl
The Zookeeper's Wife (not so much a book about animals as it is about WWII)

Quick Thinker

2009-09-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

8TH-GRADE BOY TO MARK: "You're a 'sevvie.' How's school going?"

MARK (face expressionless as he's had less-than-desirable interactions with "upperclassmen"): "Fine."

8TH-GRADE BOY: "The look on your face tells me that you want to punch me in the face or kick me in the stomach. If you do that, I'll stir-fry you in my wok."

MARK: "You don't have a wok."

8TH-GRADE BOY (pointing to his backpack): "Portable wok."

MARK (pointing to his lunch sack): "Portable Doberman."

Slipping in the Polls

2009-09-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

For the past several years (12, I'd say), I have been ranked #1 in the Most Favored Parent Poll. When I checked the rankings today, I had slipped to #2. I guess I can't hope to be #1 forever. I think it was the homework battle that knocked me down. I have faith that one day I can rise in favor and ranking again. Until then . . . I'm #2.

The Big Squeeze

2009-09-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

"Does it hurt?" a 41-year-old woman asked me as she entered the Overlake Breast Center waiting room where I sat next in line for my mammogram.

I was obviously looking only at her eyes when I answered, "It doesn't hurt, but it is a little uncomfortable. You don't hear any screaming in here, do you? I imagine it would hurt someone who was large-busted, though."

"I'm a double D," she replied.

So much for setting her mind at ease. Instead of my comment making her contemplative, she opened up to me in a way few other total strangers have done. In the few minutes we were together, donned in our "open-in-the-front" hospital gowns, I learned that she:
*Has a 19-year-old daughter.
*Was never married to her daughter's father.
*Is being "dumped" by said man this week.
*Gave birth underwater assisted by a midwife.
*Was treated very roughly and rudely by a male doctor during a cervical biopsy.
*Screamed and cried during and after the procedure.
*Threatened the aforementioned doctor.
*Was congratulated by the assisting nurse after threatening the doctor.

I was escorted to another room for my procedure. When I was finished, I gave a "thumbs-up" sign to my new friend as I walked by her in the waiting room.

I wonder if men have the same types of conversations or bond in the same way we women do while waiting together for medical tests. I doubt it.

It Pays to Read the Instructions

2009-09-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

The look on Mark's face said that last night's math homework assignment would not be easy. Based on past experience with him, I doubted I would enjoy it either. Mark was faced with a double-sided page of 88 multiplication problems like 804,365 times 3,288.

We had a little "pep talk" and I promised Mark that I would give him a little break each time he finished 10 problems. After the first set of ten, he jogged to and from the stop sign at the end of the street and then did 120 sit-ups. This system worked fairly well, and then I left to attend my book club. Lance took over.

A couple of hours into our book club meeting, I received a phone call from Mark. He was distraught. It seems that while looking at Mark's paper, Lance noticed the instructions written in large print at the top of the page: "Do the problem numbers that are multiples of 4." Mark had needlessly completed 53 extra problems. He was neither happy nor amused. I tried to help him see the positive side--he got lots of extra math practice. He didn't seem consoled, but had calmed down by the time I arrived home about 30 minutes after our conversation.

We sent him to bed even though he still had 5 of the hardest problems to work. He still wasn't finished when he left for school. Hopefully, we've all learned a lesson: read the instructions BEFORE starting the assignment.

C.O.P.

2009-09-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

Rest assured, I didn't get arrested. C.O.P. stands for Change Of Plans. Who's plans? Sara's plans. Here's the scoop.

Sara was all set to go to Germany. Her plane ticket was procured. (This involved a painful process that had us cashing in some of our precious "frequent flyer" miles. Then we learned that we needed to change the ticket as the final destination was the wrong city. A bit of miscommunication there. We had to pay an additional $189.70 to switch the ticket.) Items were purchased that she needed/wanted to take with her. Suitcases were in position to be packed. Etc.

A couple of days ago (Monday to be exact) Sara received an email from the German lady who was employing her. It seems that said lady thought Sara wouldn't be a good fit for the family as she questioned Sara's honesty about procuring the airplane ticket. There were a few other issues, and the lady "revealed" that they still had an au pair in their employ who was to remain with them until January. This little fact was unknown to us prior to Monday.

Sara replied to the email and cleared up any issues the lady had about her. It seems that she had a change of heart and sent Sara another message stating that they were grateful for her "honesty" and Sara was still welcome in their home on a "trial basis" to see if she and their family would be a "good fit." Details were outlined for various scenarios based on fit with the family.

After a lot of thought and prayer, Sara decided yesterday to decline the offer and stay put. She's planning to enroll in Bellevue College. Fall quarter begins Sept. 21. I.K.Y.P. (I'll keep you posted.) Oh, and, by the way, we had to pay another $150 to get the frequent flyer miles added back into our account.

Island Girls

2009-08-31T09:01:00.001-07:00

Fittingly, Rachelle and I hopped on a ferry and spent Friday in Friday Harbor. We also drove around the entire perimeter of San Juan Island and stopped at several places along the way. It was her "final summer fling" before returning to college next week. (Sara was invited to join us but she didn't feel well that day.) We had lots of FUN!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2009-08-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

My baby daughter, Sara, is leaving the nest and flying out into the world to seek her fortune. She departs September 9 for Cologne, Germany and will be employed as an au pair for 3 children. Her commitment is for one year. I'm just sure I'll have to visit her at least once while she's there. Then, as long as I'm in Germany, I might as well travel the rest of the European continent and re-visit places I first saw almost 30 years ago. It just wouldn't be fair to Sara if I only visited my Idaho-residing daughters and not her.

Recent Book Purchases

2009-08-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

Compare Lance's most recent book purchases to mine:

LANCE'S: Principles of Air Conditioning; Strategic Intuition; The Art of What Works
MINE: Modoc: The True Story of the World's Greatest Elephant; The Rhino with Glue-on Shoes; Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science

"Anniversary" Trip

2009-08-18T07:14:00.001-07:00

Due to a variety of circumstances, what was supposed to be our 25th wedding anniversary trip turned out to be a solo vacation for me. Not to worry, though; our marriage is still very much intact and all is well. Our real anniversary trip has been postponed and will occur eventually.

While I vacationed, Lance slaved at home on my anniversary gift--a tiled bathroom floor. (It looks great and is a wonderful gift!)

I, on the other hand, had lots of fun, and have the pictures to prove it. (Warning: the words "visit" and "visited" and synonyms will be way over-used in this post.)

The trip started off a little rocky. No sooner had I checked my baggage and headed for the security check-point, than I realized I left my cell phone in our car. I found a pay phone but had no change, so I had to charge a call on my Visa and call my phone. Poor Lance was half-way home, but he willingly turned around and delivered my phone to me. Fortunately, I still had plenty of time to make my flight.

My parents transported me from the airport to their house where my ghetto mobile (multi-colored, dented Ford Windstar) was waiting for me to drive to Rexburg. Annica, Josh and Max (the Olde English Bulldogge puppy) were my first hosts. They planned a day trip and we went to Yellowstone--one of my most favorite places. The cool, rainy weather was a nice change from the 100+ degree temperatures I left behind in Washington.

After two+ great days with Annica and Josh, I returned to Utah for the duration of my vacation. Monday I had a craving for (which I always do when I'm in Utah) for Arctic Circle fries, fry sauce and a lime rickey. Of course, my parents indulged me. After filling our bellies on that, plus a bunless junior bacon burger, we visited my Uncle Ray who was a hospital patient. He had fallen, broken his hip and shattered his elbow. We then visited Aunt Helen and cousin Peggy at their home.

I realized I didn't have my own photos of the homes I lived in in Clearfield or the elementary school I attended there, so we went there and I took pictures. My old neighborhood (where I lived until age 9) has fallen into a state of dishevelment, sadly. Monday evening, brothers Blake and Chad and their families along with Melanie's family joined us for a family dinner at our parents' home. We ate, took pictures and chatted. Some of my nephews willingly hugged me. Some hugged me but not so willingly.

The following day was spent with my sister. She and I, along with my sister-in-law Cindy, saw the movie Julie and Julia. I also accompanied my new step-nephews to one of their schools where we tested one nephew's locker combination. It's been many, many years since I've worked a school locker combination. That afternoon I hung out at an auto repair shop while they inspected my van because I suspected an oil leak and smelled a funny odor. Fortunately, no car problems were found, and I left the shop with all of my money in my purse. Sister Melanie spoiled me with a yummy gluten-free dinner she prepared, and the boys and I had some more bonding time.

My parents picked me up early Wednesday morning and we traveled to Manti to attend my cousin Sadie's wedding at the Manti Temple. Beautiful wedding, beautiful day. Lots of relatives on hand to make me feel like I was attending a family reunion. I arrived back at my sister's home just in time to assemble the dinner she had prepared the night before. After the boys went to bed, Melanie insisted that I join her in her scrapbook/card-making/craft room to make a card. I resisted but she persisted, and I came home with one lovely, home-made card made partially by me.

The following morning I drove north to Alpine and went to breakfast with sister-in-law Cindy, nephew Noah and niece Makenzie. Nephews Preston and Jake were awake when we returned so I had a little fun with them. Jake will finally let me hug him, though he's not so willing to do it. Cindy took me to a craft warehouse sale and I bought some good, very inexpensive stuff. So much stuff that I had to send a box to myself at home because I couldn't transport it all on the plane. That afternoon I went to the BYU campus and walked around the bookstore. I got rid of a little more money there, and met former roommate and friend LaNae. We had a nice, little chat and laughed together like we always do. I realized I didn't have the proper attire to wear to Sadie's wedding reception that evening, so I had to make a quick stop at a store and buy a skirt. I was even bold and ask the saleslady to steam the wrinkles out of it which she gladly did. (At least she seemed like she was glad to do it.) Next, I drove up to friend Elain's house and had a great visit with her. I don't often get together with her, so it's good to see her when I can.

I met my parents at a restaurant for dinner. Superwoman-like, I took my new skirt into the bathroom and emerged in wedding reception attire. After an unintended detour, we finally found the site of the reception. Again, more relatives and chatting. Too bad we spent money at a restaurant. We could have had a nice dinner at the reception. My parents got in their car and I got in my ghetto-mobile and we ended up at their house where I spent the next 3 nights.

I was a little lazy Friday morning and puttered around in my pjs for quite a while. After a yummy lunch of garden-fresh beets, new potatoes, corn on the cob, and steak, we visited cousin Bethany and her little "doodles" (boys Kyle and Carter) at their new home. Then I visited another friend Jana (my friend since 5th grade). Although it was hard to talk over the constant yapping of her guard dog/teacup poodle, Tinkerbell, we had a very nice, fun visit, as always. (It's hard to remember why I once owned and loved poodles so much.) That evening my mom and I watched one of my favorite movies, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.

Saturday my parents treated me to a very delicious, very filling, very pleasant, gluten-free, halibut au gratin lunch at Taggart's Grill in Weber Canyon. It was fun to eat and watch peacocks strolling past the window at the same time. Lovely lunch in a lovely setting. It was the only restaurant I've ever dined at that had a "rattlesnakes in the area" warning sign posted on their entrance. We visited brother Chad and family at their home just a short drive from the restaurant. We were still too full to eat any dinner that night, but not too full to share one of the flourless chocolate cakes we bought at Taggart's.

I flew home Sunday and was grateful that the lady who was very sick and coughed her lungs out on my flight to Salt Lake City wasn't on my return flight. Now I'm home and preparing for a young women's retreat this weekend. I love vacations!

Opposites Attract

2009-08-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary. I'm married to a most remarkable man. We have so many things in common: love for each other, love for our children, love for children in general, both first-born children, both wear orthotics and glasses, both have strong testimonies and love the Lord, both most comfortable in jeans, neither is a "cat" person, both enjoy travel (but have "never been to Spain"), both football fans, etc. We also differ in many, many ways. Fortunately, we celebrate our differences and appreciate each other. Here's a sampling of how we differ:

Lance (hereafter referred to as "L"): still has his real, natural hair color
Natalie (hereafter referred to as "N"): has fake "natural" hair color

L: practically perfect in every way
N: not so much

L: vanilla is his flavor of choice
N: prefers chocolate

L: doesn't like nuts in food
N: the nuttier the food, the better

L: calm, cool, collected
N: worrier extraordinaire

L: risk-taker
N: play-it-safer

L: Mexican food lover
N: seafood lover

L: prefers games of strategy
N: prefers word games

L: computer expert
N: computer illiterate (mostly)

L: spicy food lover
N: mild food lover

L: sports participant
N: sports spectator

L: great dancer
N: has two left feet

N: remembers names, birthdates, phone numbers, song lyrics, trivia
L: brain doesn't store that information ("Why do you wear your bra so low?")

L: prefers action movies
N: prefers comedies and romances

L: navigates by following maps
N: navigates by reading written directions

L: good driver
N: much better driver (uses turn signals and can talk and drive simultaneously)

L: uses cruise control
N: prefers to control the vehicle herself

L: loves to hike and "rough it"
N: likes being a pampered camper (i.e. running water and electricity)

L: has wide feet and hands
N: has narrow feet and hands

L: soccer player
N: piano player

L: likes a few vegetables (gags on beets and dislikes asparagus)
N: likes most vegetables (especially beets, asparagus, zucchini)

Happy anniversary to the most patient, loving man alive--Lance!!!

UPS Delivery

2009-08-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

My friend, the UPS man, delivered our air-conditioner today. Soon I will be a much cooler person in every way! Thanks, Papa!

How to Be Cool

2009-07-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

When a heat wave strikes your area, you want to make sure you can keep cool. It's really hard to stay cool in the house when it's 107 degrees outside and you have no air-conditioning. You can try the following suggestions--all have been tested. I cannot guarantee their effectiveness, because many weren't and the ones that were tended to be expensive.

*Don't cook.
*Buy prepared, convenience foods.
*Eat "out." (Can be expensive especially if you do it continually. Duh.)
*Hang out in air-conditioned stores and establishments. (Also can be expensive if you're tempted to shop.)
*Go to the movie theater. (Also can be expensive if you watch movies, buy popcorn, etc.)
*Search stores for fans and air-conditioners. (My search was unproductive as every store was sold out.)
*Keep the windows and curtains/blinds closed especially when the temperature outside gets as hot as the temperature inside your home.
*Run the stove hood fan continuously.
*Wet down the concrete surrounding your house. (Surprisingly, this is mildly effective.)
*Sit in front of the fan (when it's on, of course).
*Stay hydrated.
*Apply cold, wet compresses to your neck and head.
*Find lots of errands to run in your air-conditioned vehicle. (Be careful that your car doesn't overheat. They're sensitive to heat also, surprisingly.)
*Visit a friend who has air-conditioning.

But the most effective way to keep cool when all else fails:
*Call your parents who live out-of-state, whine about the heat and share your plight. They will come to your rescue, buy you an air-conditioner (at 40% off, too, because they live in an area where nearly all homes have air-conditioning), and ship it to you ASAP. They will do this because they love you and even though they've begged you for years to purchase air-conditioning.

Free as a Bird

2009-07-28T08:29:00.001-07:00

Last night while we were eating our pizza dinner in the front yard, a bird flew into our storm door. Literally. It slammed into the glass and fell onto the cement porch right behind where I sat. It sat dazed and confused until it hopped with its limp wing onto the grass where it remained in the same spot until Sara rescued it.

We were all concerned about the tiny creature. Would it live? Would it recover in time to fly away before it became a cat's meal?

Sara lined a shoe box with a washcloth, tissue, and cotton balls. She placed food scraps and a small container of water in the box. She easily caught the bird with her bare hands and took it to its new temporary home/hospital in the box atop her dresser. We all resumed our normal activities.

When Sara checked on the bird later, the shoe box was empty. A thorough check of her room provided no clues. The family was alerted, and everyone searched. No luck. I had visions of a bird landing on my face while I was sleeping. Not a pleasant thought.

Everyone headed to bed except me because I had to take a cool shower so I could sleep better in the 90-degree house temperature. As I was drying off, I heard Lance shout, "I found the bird!" It seems that the little fowl found its way to our bedroom window and hid behind my newly-sewn curtains. Lance saw it as it flew to the top of our door. Obviously, the bird was well enough to fly.

Lance caught the bird in the shoe box, and much to Sara's dismay, took it outside to release it. Would it survive? Sara's mind was eased when the bird climbed onto Lance's finger and flew up into the cherry tree.

Despite the heat, I slept better than I would have had the bird still been loose in our house.

AN AMMENDMENT, WRITTEN BY LANCE:
Actually, Natalie failed to mention that I instructed Sara to *not* bring the bird in the house. Despite that instruction, the female "motherly-care" instinct prevailed and a shoebox was obtained for a mini-bird-Hilton experience. I would say hospital, however, Sara found every type of food that the bird might like and put it in there along with water and soft cushion material as well. Later in the day, Sara came to me with a quizzical expression on her face. "Did you release the bird?", she asked. The bird had evidently checked out of the bird-Hilton and didn't notify management. Later after I had caught the bird flying around in our bedroom (note: no living animals were harmed in this exercise), and had taken the bird outside, Sara and I had an exchange that went something like this:

me: "OK, I'm going to release the bird" (I take the lid off the bird-Hilton shoebox).

sara: (pointing at the fact that the bird is still crouched down in the corner of his/her luxurious bird-hilton suite) "Look, it's afraid. I'll put holes in the lid and we can take it back inside."

me: "No! The bird is fine, it flew around our bedroom" (I set the box on the ground and slightly tip it so that the bird must leave the presidential bird-Hilton suite. The bird jumps to my finger, and then flies to a nearby tree. In the process of tipping the box so the bird will leave, the bird buffet spills around the box leaving food and water all over.)

sara: "You've ruined the box".

There are lessons here …

X-BOX Withdrawal

2009-07-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

"I'm going through withdrawal from X-Box," reported Mark. (Lance and I temporarily removed all video-game systems from our home.)

"What are your symptoms," I asked.

"Upset stomach, light-headedness, loss of interest, shorter attention span, depression," Mark answered.

Yes, he's got it bad. There may be no cure.

Mr. Observant

2009-07-22T23:59:00.001-07:00

"Looks like you have a lot of dishes to do tonight, Mom," Mark announced as he was eating his late bedtime snack.

I gave him the "evil eye," and he continued, "I'm just stating a simple fact."

As he reached to put a dish towel on the removable metal towel rack, he said, "Oh, this thing needs to be cleaned, too."

My reply was, "When you see something that needs to be done, it's a good idea to just do it yourself instead of announcing that a job needs to be done and then walking away."

His answer: "Yes, I could do that unless I see something and say, 'This needs to be welded.'"

He cleaned the towel rack, placed it back on the cabinet door and left the kitchen.

I have a lot of dishes to do tonight.

Bathroom Call

2009-07-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

I was downstairs yesterday afternoon when I answered a phone call from Zachary.

"Hi, Mom. This is Zach. I'm in the bathroom. Could you bring me a towel?" he asked.

A word to the wise: always take your cellphone with you into the bathroom in case you are caught without a towel after showering.

No pictures will be posted.

I Recommend . . .

2009-07-14T22:02:00.001-07:00

If you're going to "do" Disneyland and/or San Diego, here are a few of my favorite rides/attractions/hotels, etc. I've also tossed in a couple of things/establishments that I do not recommend. This is free advice.

RECOMMENDATIONS/FAVORITES:
*Disneyland fireworks ("When You Wish Upon A Star") through August. Position yourself on Main Street.
*Pirates of the Caribbean (my favorite ride), Splash Mountain, Matterhorn, Soaring Over California, Grizzly River Rapids, Haunted Mansion
*Castle Inn and Suites (on Harbor Blvd. within short walking distance to the Disney parks)
*Check at the Disneyland main entrance for a list of menu items that are designed for those with food allergies and sensitivities.
*Bring your own water to the park. And plenty of snacks.
*Buy souvenirs at the END of the day.
*New Orleans Square (my favorite area in Disneyland).
*Get "fast passes."
*Wear lots of sunscreen and a hat.
*BYOB (bring your own Band-aids).
*Comfortable shoes are a MUST!
*Hampton Inn on Pacific Highway in downtown San Diego!!! (Great rates and just across from the harbor)
*If you request a non-smoking room at a Best Western Inn, be sure to check the room before you pay.
*Use your AAA card whenever and wherever you can. (At Disneyland, you must purchase at least a 3-day Park Hopper pass in order to receive a discount.)
*Whole Foods catering service.
*Make sure your camera is in working order.
*Get to Disneyland early in the morning!

DO NOT RECOMMEND:
*Gluten-free hot dog and hamburger buns in Disney restaurants
*The famed El Indio restaurant on India Street in San Diego. (The Food Network was wrong!)
*Counting on Motel 6 to supply you with shampoo and/or conditioner and/or a hair blow-dryer.
*Leaving the interior lights on in your car overnight.
*Getting a hotel that is right next to the train tracks (unless it is Hampton Inn in San Diego).
*Waiting until late evening to enter Fantasyland.
*Riding dizzying rides if you're prone to dizziness or motion sickness.

A Most Unusual Gift

2009-07-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

Today my mother received the gift I mailed to her--an envelope full of Zachary's shorn, curly locks. For years Mom has envied Zachary's hair and has frequently expressed her desire to "have" his hair. Well, now she has it. I saved nearly every bit of the hair I cut from Zach's head last week, sealed it in a Ziploc sandwich bag and mailed it off.

The hair has already been put to use. Dad fashioned it in to a mustache. I hope he posts pictures.

It Pays to Know History

2009-07-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

On our last morning in San Diego, Lance went to the San Diego Temple with his brother Lane and sister Laurel. Cindy (Lane's wife) and I took our kids for a short walk to see the ships docked in the harbor. The oldest 5 wanted to tour the ships, boats and Russian submarine, so we paid the steep admission and the rest of us (Cindy, 11-year-old Noah, 7-year-old Makenzie and I) waited on the sidewalk while the 5 toured the boats.

A cleverly-costumed and lovely female docent approached our small "captive" audience and began a conversation with us. Actually, docent Anne conversed mostly with Noah. Noah knew nearly every answer to every question Anne asked him. Not only did Noah know the correct answers, he expounded on his knowledge. Anne was impressed. Heck, I was impressed! Anne complimented him and said that most 8th-graders don't know the information 5th-grade Noah knows. This only increased Noah's confidence and he became even more engaged in the conversation.

About an hour into the docent-Noah interaction, a male docent showed up and joined the fun. Docent Al, too, was impressed. He presented Noah with a gold-plated coin replica. Then Anne asked Cindy if she could borrow Noah, and she took him aboard the Star of India (the oldest active sailing vessel in the world). Soon Anne collected Cindy and Makenzie to board the ship. Then it was my turn.

Cindy, Noah and Makenzie (along with a few others) helped hoist the main sail while I snapped away with my trusty digital camera. Somehow, our other 5 kids showed up along with Lane and Lance, and all but Lance boarded the Star of India with us. (Lance had to keep our van running because the battery had just been jump-started. That, of course, is another story. Plus he had to rent a projector for the night's slide show.)

Al and Anne spent the next hour and a half with just us giving us a private informational tour and a history of the boat. In the bilge, the kids even got to slide into the belly of the boat on a board attached to a track. Mark and Noah took turns sword-fighting with Al. Turns out, Al was an extra and a production assistant on the movie Master and Commander. He let the kids hold Russell Crowe's "real" sword. All the kids got the special coins. We were treated like celebrities. Both docents were quick to point out that the reason for our special treatment was that Noah knew history.

This is a story for our family history book.

A California Adventure

2009-07-05T17:56:00.001-07:00

We're back from our California Adventure/Delano family reunion in Anaheim and San Diego. A marvelous time was had by all most of the time. The highlight of the trip was spending time with Lance's parents, siblings, and siblings' families. Sara's feet will recover from the beating they took, and Zachary will recover from the flu-like illness he contracted the last day we were there. Once I think of a clever way to document our trip, I'll share it with you. Stay tuned.

No Longer Elementary

2009-06-19T13:18:00.001-07:00

Mark graduated from elementary school today. Here are a few pictures taken at the "promotion ceremony." Photo 1: with the great Mr. Mahendran, teacher extraordinaire; Photo 2: with Principal Livingston, I presume; Photo 3: proudly displaying his certificate (notice it's upside down); Photo 4: with his school class.

Our Belle, Rachelle

2009-06-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

Rachelle, my belle,
You're really "swell."
And this I know--
I love you so.

You're kind and sweet,
And can't be beat
At giving hugs
And nice back rubs.

Let's shout, "Hooray!"
It's your birthday.
Have lots of fun
Till day is done.

We'll think of you
The whole day through.
"Happy birthday!"
Now, go and play!

The Graduate

2009-06-12T18:07:00.001-07:00

Sara graduated from International Community School yesterday. We're proud of and happy for her.

My Man's Day

2009-06-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

Sir Lancelot, my knight in shining armor, is celebrating his birthday today. He is a very youthful 52 years old. Despite living with me for nearly 25 years, he hardly has any gray hair. I love him so very, very much and want to tell the world he is an amazing husband, father, friend. Happy birthday, Lance!!!

A Double Mix-up

2009-06-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

Tuesday nights are "take-out" nights at our house. Sara has singing lessons in Woodinville at 5:00 pm and, since I'm her chauffeur, I take her. We're gone from 4:40 until 6:20. I wish I could say that I prepared a nice make-ahead meal every Tuesday morning, but I can't say it because I don't do it. I take the easy way out and get some sort of take-out food while we're in Woodinville.

Tonight we got our food from Taco Time where we are regulars. I ordered 2 crisp beef tacos without cheese, 8 regular crisp beef tacos and 2 large orders of Mexi Fries. Pretty straightforward and cheap. My order totalled just over $12. When we were about a mile from home Sara asked, "How many tacos did you order? There are only 3 in the bag. Did you get another bag?" No wonder I thought they were cheap. I only got 3 tacos plus the Mexi Fries.

Since there is also a Taco Time in our town, I dropped Sara off at home and headed to our local Taco Time to purchase more tacos. I placed my order and pulled up to the window to pay and get my food.

"That'll be $1.49," announced the cashier as she handed me a small bag.

"For 8 crisp beef tacos?" I asked.

"Oh, I thought you said 'a crisp beef taco!'" was her reply.

I asked her for 7 more, paid for all 8 and left with a small and large bag of tacos. I guess I need to work on my number enunciation.

An Unusual Morning

2009-05-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

I have no pictures of my morning adventures, so you'll just have to settle for the verbal description. Our morning routine was altered due to a variety of circumstances. Lance had to leave home at 7:00 am to attend a campaign kick-off breakfast, which meant that I was the designated morning chauffeur.

I didn't feel well, so I got out of bed at the last possible minute, which meant that I didn't shower and get dressed before I set off. In the first hour and a half I was "up," I drove 14 miles in my pajamas, saw a man get hand-cuffed, and (only a few of you will appreciate this), while looking at the "META4" license plate of the car in front of me, heard the word "metaphor" sung in a song I was listening to.

These unusual events will never be repeated in the same morning, I'm certain.

The Family Lodge

2009-05-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

Check out this photo of our family lodge in Idaho. This structure used to be a 2-story garage/chicken coop, and my dad turned it in to a lodge with the help of a few other relatives. It's the place we hold our family reunions in the summer and we love to stay there. It's surrounded by rolling hills and farm land.

A Feat Never Before Attempted

2009-05-28T20:52:00.001-07:00

Now that I'm almost 50, I think I'm old enough to try to upload a photo and post it on my blog. I've been taught, so let's see if I can do this by myself. If this works, you might see a whole host of pictures on this site.

These are photos taken today of my adventure to Farrell-McWhirter Park with my little buddy Tyler. Tyler and baby pigs--how much cuteness can you stand?

Dad Chad

2009-05-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ode to My F-I-L

My husband's dad
Is Grandpa Chad.
He's always glad
And never mad.

Today's "his" day,
So shout "Hooray!"
It's time to say,
"Happy Birthday!"

We love you, Grandpa Chad!

Warranty Expiring?

2009-05-22T13:17:00.001-07:00

Ever notice how your car starts to fall apart the day after your warranty expires? Do the car manufacturers somehow plan for this and build it into the car's computer system? I wonder.

Well, I'm approaching my 50th birthday and beginning to wonder if my "warranty" is just about up. Allow me to explain. I contracted some sort of annoying cough several weeks ago--just after I "recovered" from a regular cold. Ticklish and scratchy throat. I coughed and coughed for a couple of weeks but didn't feel sick at all. Then last Thursday night--the night I picked Lance up from the airport after he spent the better part of the week in Southern California and I had to play the roles of both parents (a job I don't relish)--I started to feel sick. I was awake most of the night coughing my lungs out. At least it felt like I would cough up my lungs. Friday morning I felt better--well enough to walk my short route with Jeanne and Tyler. Monday night brought a more expanded set of symptoms including a fever, fatigue and a horribly runny, stuffy nose. Did I have swine flu?

Of course I didn't go to the doctor because I rarely do. Lance visited a doctor and was diagnosed with "community pneumonia." I'll get well riding his coattails, I reason. Sara's chronic state of ill health was entering an acute phase, and Zachary was still taking the antiobiotic the allergist prescribed for his sinus infection. I drank a lot of herbal tea sweetened with liberal amounts of honey and became addicted to a new kind of lozenge--Hall's Naturals (the honey-filled peach-flavored ones are as good or better than candy).

During the past few days, a host of other (some seemingly-unrelated) symptoms have cropped up. While sitting in the chair watching one of "my" reality TV shoes, I shifted my leg and heard a pop in my right knee. No swelling, but a lot of pain. The pain has mostly subsided thanks to my trusty Phiten titanium disc patches. I developed a massive headache from coughing and blowing my nose way too much. I can't lift my left arm above shoulder level without the top of my arm aching. My left hip is causing me some pain (a chronic problem). My sternum hurts (probably from coughing too much). Yesterday morning I awoke with conjunctivitis in both eyes. There are other issues as well, but I'll spare you the details.

Does my body know I'm approaching the magic age of 50? Am I crossing the line into old age? I guess I'll just have to break out the t-shirt I bought for myself that reminds me: "You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever." At least I can remain immature as long as I wish!

A Birthday for BooBah!

2009-05-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

My eldest daughter has now caught up to my age; we're both 24! It honestly seems like just a year or two ago when I really was that age. Funny thing is that at 24 we are/were both working in health-related careers. Annica works in a hospital, and I worked for the Utah Department of Health.

Annica has brought us much joy over the years and has developed into a beautiful young woman. She came into the world with a very independent spirit and has always seemed very confident and secure in who she is. Entertaining herself and others came naturally to her.

The summer Zachary was born, Annica organized a summer school for the neighborhood children. She formed lesson plans, and made bathroom "passes," lunch tickets and the like. When I voiced some concern about which areas of the house she would use for her school, she said, "I'll just use the whole upstairs and the family room, and you and Zachary can stay in the downstairs bedroom." She never did carry out her plan, but sure had a good time organizing everything.

Annica had an active imagination and was and is very artistic and creative. Unlike most other young children, she never drew "stick" figures. One of the first pictures she drew was of someone getting a haircut. She drew the person with a tiny pair of scissors on each strand of hair.

She expressed her creativity in other ways as well. She and friend Noelle tried to find a more efficient way to use the bathroom, so they experimented with a way that involved neither removing nor pulling down any item of clothing. They both ended up wet. And smelly.

Annica used to make lists of goals and aspirations. One of her goals was "to not go through labor giving birth." We'll see if she reaches that goal.

This lovely daughter makes friends very easily. She's very personable and potential employers like her. That's why she's been hired for almost every job she's ever applied for.

She used to be terrified of dogs. Really terrified. Really, really terrified. Obviously, she's overcome much of her fear because she now has her own dog to care for and love.

She is married to a wonderful guy, Josh, who takes very good care of her. They make a great team, and we love them both. They help each other in so many ways and work at making a happy life for themselves.

Happy birthday, my sweet daughter. I love you so very much!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

From me to my mama:
I have a mother
Like no other.
This much I know--
I love her so!

From Mark to me:
I have a mother
Like no other,
And I really, really love her.
Sometimes she's glad,
And sometimes she's sad,
But today is Mothers Day,
So I'll try not to be bad.

From me to my mother-in-law:
You raised a great son.
He's my Number One.
You're a marvelous gal
And even my pal!

Mark "accidentally" ate the rest of my chocolate candy bar I was given in church. To assuage his guilt, he gave me all of his money which consists of $23. I told him to keep the money (and the chocolate).

Mark's Philosophies of Life

2009-05-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

*"If you want to find true happiness, don't try and find it through money. Try and find it through the simple things."
*"Finding peace involves serving others."
*"Don't gamble with your life along with your money."
*"Invest in things you know will succeed and not in things that you don't."
*"Learn from failure. Take joy in success."
*"If you don't like someone, don't be with them."
*"Instead of finding the bad things in a person, why not find the good things."
*"If there's a rule you don't like, then don't be in that game."
*"Obedience can save you from trouble in the darkest times."
*"Work hard on something that is worth working hard on."
*"Love equals joy. Joy equals happiness. Happiness equals success."
*"Show a little anger, but don't let it all out."
*"If you feel like you're about to burst then put yourself in a container."
*"Smile!"

Buy One, Break Some Free

2009-05-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

During my grocery shopping excursion yesterday, I noticed a display of a new kind of salad dressing--miso salad dressing to be exact. Since my friend Jeanne raved about her Miso Seafood Salad at CPK last week, I decided to surprise her with a bottle of the miso dressing. As I lifted one bottle off the shelf, the entire shelf collapsed spilling every single glass bottle onto the floor. Several bottles shattered and splattered my shoes with the yellow fragrant dressing. The accident was loud and embarrassing. The incident occurred next to the in-store pharmacy, and a male pharmacy technician rushed to my aide carrying a plethora of paper towels. As I reached for the paper towels and bent to wipe my shoes and the floor, the technician said that he would clean it up and asked me to not move so he could wipe any glass shards off my feet. There were no glass shards, but there was a lot of dressing. If Jeanne likes the dressing, she'll have to shop elsewhere to find another bottle as I broke every bottle in sight.

Birthday Baby

2009-04-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

Today is the day my baby boy turns 12 years old. (The exact time of his birth was at 9:35 pm, so he has a few hours to go before he really is 12.) I know he has been the subject of many blog posts, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to make him the focus of this birthday blog. Here are just a few of his witty sayings that I can remember:

*"I love hard, manual labor." (Yah, right!)
*"Mom, I'm going to really miss you when you're dead and visit your grave every day."
*"Did the Holy Ghost tell you who started it?"
*"It wasn't me!"
*"I love you more than the white hot intensity of a thousand suns." (quoting SpongeBob)
*"I have a tenderloin, too."
*"I will not go to first grade if my teacher is ugly."
*"My mom already said a prayer for me and it didn't work."
*"Do you want to be a horrifying mother or a normal mother?"
*"Please bless me and make hair grow in my armpits." (in a prayer at age 6)
*"Please give my compliments to the chef." (to a waitress at age 7)

Happy, happy birthday, Mark!!!

A Tender Mercy

2009-04-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

I try to be grateful for the "little" things in my life and to notice "tender mercies." I try to instill in my children that same sense of gratitude for those little things and tender mercies. Last evening as he was heading for bed, Mark noted (with a smile on his face as he spoke): "Well, today passed without incident." Yes, it was "incident" free--at least where Mark was concerned. It has not always been the case, but today it was. And I'm grateful.

This Week in 25 Words or Less

2009-04-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

Kids ill
Lance traveled
Sunshine, warmth
Dog escaped
WASL testing
Rachelle resumed college
Mark's "dog" report
Amazing chocolate coconut gluten-free cupcakes
Must plant garden!

Bad Eggs, Dirty Water and Inventive Son

2009-04-17T06:27:00.000-07:00

BAD EGGS:
Sara noticed an unpleasant odor emanating from a certain spot at the end of her bed. Since she has a difficult time maintaining a spotlessly clean room, I suggested that she look for some uneaten food she may have left in a lunch bag. Then I went to bed. Shortly after midnight I heard gagging and coughing noises coming from downstairs. It seems that the ever-curious Sara "sniffed out" the problem and discovered it to be Ukranian eggs she designed at January's Art Day at her school. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she cracked open the eggs and "black goo" oozed out. The smell was "the most awful smell" she'd ever experienced which sent her into fits of gagging and coughing. She couldn't re-enter her room, so she spent the night downstairs in the vacant bedroom. Maybe her room will get a cleaning after all.

DIRTY WATER:
Did you know that if you call the Public Works Department in our city after hours you get to chat with a police dispatcher? That's what happened last night. I noticed that our toilet water was dirty even after I flushed it several times. We compared the tap water to the toilet water and there was little or no difference. Disgusting!!! I checked the water in our other toilet and it was the same brownish-yellow color. I called our next-door neighbors and their water was similar to ours. My next call was to Public Works/Police. The dispatcher paged the someone from Public Works and we got a call from a city worker a few minutes later. They'd received a similar call from another resident one street up from us. The worker couldn't explain our problem and said he'd come out to investigate this morning. He also said that he thought our water was probably safe to drink and that some sediment may have gotten into the water supply. I hope our water returns to its "normal" state and color today.

INVENTIVE SON:
Two days ago Mark got a sudden-onset sore throat. He told me he couldn't talk--at all. So, as necessity is the mother of invention, Mark navigated to his new favorite website (www.expressivo.com) and let the computer talk to me. It nearly drove me nuts. When I asked Mark a question or tried to get him to respond to something I said, a few seconds elapsed (while he was typing his response) and I heard a computer-generated reply. Sore throat or not, Mark's dad put an end to that form of communication when he arrived home from work.

The Latest Rage at Our House

2009-04-15T15:11:00.000-07:00

Sara and Mark recently discovered the following website and are nuts about it. You might become hooked yourself:

www.expressivo.com

Express yourself!

Princess of the Nut Tree Farm

2009-04-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

Our "baby" girl is 19 today! It seems like just a few months ago when we welcomed our dark-haired, brown-eyed (or hazel-eyed as she claims), beautiful Sara into the world. After being the parents to two very colicky girls, we were ready for a calmer baby, and we got her. Sara has spent the last 19 years amazing and amusing us. Here are a few of our favorite Sara anecdotes.

*When Lance noticed spider legs protruding from Sara's 18-month-old mouth, he ordered, "Spit!" She produced the spider in her dad's palm and proudly claimed, "I eat the itsy, itsy 'pider, Daddy!"

*Not content to go through life with no middle name, she created her own--or series of them: Nightingale Captain Rose Amelia Isabella Lance Myrna Teddy Roosevelt Franklin Roosevelt. Her 2nd grade teacher actually believed that we had given Sara all of those nicknames.

*One day when she was about 4 years old, Sara bolted out of the house and took off running down the street. She didn't stop when I called to her; in fact, she picked up speed. Still I called after her. She stopped at the stop sign at the end of the street and returned home. When I asked her why she hadn't obeyed me, she replied, "I was just having a race with myself to see which foot would finish first."

*A "stranger" rang our doorbell one evening. Rather than answering the door, I opened the living room window and asked the man what he wanted. He answered, "I'm employed by the County, and I'm here to license your pets." I assured him that we had no pets, and he started to walk away. Sara called out to him, "She says she doesn't have any pets, but she does!" We had 2 goldfish.

*When her younger brother Zachary was born, three-year-old Sara started acting up and bugging the baby and me at every turn. Grandma was here to help and she tried to distract and dissuade Sara to no avail. On one particularly trying afternoon, Grandma again tried to stop Sara's antics and announced, "I'm going to win this battle." Sara emphatically retorted, "No, you're not! I'M going to win this battle!" Despite a rocky start to their relationship, Sara and Zachary are the best of friends.

*Sara is multi-talented, very intelligent and uber-creative. She excels in learning languages (Spanish, Japanese), art, singing, sewing, test-taking, writing, cartooning--just to name a few of her talents. She's also quite perceptive.

Happy, happy birthday, my ladybug!!!

I Must Be Insane

2009-04-06T21:35:00.000-07:00

Some famous person defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." Well, I must be insane then. I keep employing the same strategies (even multiple strategies, mind you) in the hopes of getting Mark to do his homework willingly, but to little or no avail. I'd have better luck getting the dog to do her homework. So here I sit at the computer trying to distract myself from getting involved in yet another homework battle. I hope to go to bed relaxed and ready for a good night's sleep.

Thoughts I Love

2009-03-31T13:44:00.000-07:00

"There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.'" (Jerry Seinfeld)

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle." (Robert Anthony)

"Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." (Pete Seeger)

"It is necessary for us to learn from others' mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself." (Hyman G. Rickover)

"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart." (Erma Bombeck)

"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison." (Tim Allen)

"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." (Muhammed Ali)

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." (Henry Kissinger)

"The first duty of love is to listen." (Paul Tillich)

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." (Wayne Gretzky)

"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and to continue to find, grounds for marriage." (Robert Anderson)

"Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying." (Fran Lebowitz)

"If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent." (Bette Davis)

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." (Harry S Truman)

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young." (Fred Astaire)

"Stick with optimists. It's going to be tough enough even if they're right." (James Reston)

"If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you." (Calvin Coolidge)

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." (Leo Tolstoy)

"The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do." (John Holt)

"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." (Franklin P. Jones)

"It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference." (Tom Brokaw)

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln)

"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence." (Jorge Luis Borges)

"No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut." (Sam Rayburn)

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." (Will Rogers)

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is." (Albert Camus)