What You Won’t Find in Any Child-rearing Book

Over the years, I’ve read many child development and parenting books. I even minored in Child Development and Family Relations at BYU. What’s more, I spent 4 years working at BYU’s Marriage and Family Therapy Clinic and typed books and articles written by the professors who employed me. I thought I knew it all. That was until I had children—five of them. While I have put into use much of the knowledge I gained from all of my reading, the child development books didn’t cover it all. For example, here is a small sampling of what I DIDN’T read about in any of the books. I could have really used the help with these subjects:

*What to do when your young child lies to a police officer.
*What to say when your young son asks an elderly woman why she has a beard.
*How should you discipline a 6th-grade son who lights a fire at school and gets suspended.
*What an appropriate punishment is for a 2nd-grader who floods the school bathroom and rigs the drinking fountain to shoot water straight in the air.
*What a logical consequence is for writing on the carpet of every stair with permanent marker.
*What to do when your child trims your mini-blinds with scissors.
*How to respond when your young son tells the home teacher he has a fat tummy.
*What to do when your child repeatedly disposes of his homework in the school bushes.
*How to respond when your teenage daughter informs you that she needs mashed potatoes for a youth activity that begins in 15 minutes.
*What to do when your teenage son asks you to get him a brown beard, a black beard and a Roman costume and he needs it in 45 minutes.
*How to handle a situation in which your 1st-grader tells two girls from Romania that he “hates” them because they “talk weird.”
*What to do when your young daughter changes her underwear several times a day because it’s too loose.
*How to stop a young daughter from sneakily climbing into bed with each and every houseguest.
*How to prevent your young son from picking each and every flower in your yard and “presenting” them to you.
*What to do when your teenage son sells his lunch items you purchased and pockets the money.
*What to do when you feel like simultaneously strangling and hugging your child.
*How to punish your child when you feel like laughing uproariously at his actions.

Are there any real life situations you’ve encountered that haven’t been discussed in any parenting or child-rearing book?

Vacation Ups and Downs

We just returned from an 8-day trip to Utah to take part in the wedding of my one and only sister, Melanie. As always, there were ups and downs, and here they are in a nutshell:'

UPS:
*The wedding (Bountiful Temple).
*Gorgeous weather on the wedding day.
*Seeing many relatives and friends.
*Reuniting with Annica and Josh!
*Meeting Rachelle's boyfriend Chris.
*Listening to Sara and Nikki sing (separately) at the wedding luncheon.
*Going to Ben Franklin (NOT here).
*Getting great deals on fabric.
*Buying gas for $1.59 a gallon.
*Pheasant hunting with Blake and boys (for Lance and Zachary).
*Finding a yummy gluten-free pizza place (Pier 49 Pizza in SLC).
*Visiting Temple Square and the Conference Center.
*Attending the Draper Temple open house.
*Sleeping in late (or later than usual)!
*Watching the snow fall.
*Seeing Melanie's and Greg's new house.
*Eating good food.
*Visiting Kris and knowing she's doing well after the sudden death of her husband 2 months ago.
*Finding an acceptable dress to wear for the reception.
*Getting Mark's hair cut!
*Spending time with my parents and family.
*Having all of my kids together!

DOWNS:
*Being confined to the house Tuesday because it snowed all day! (15 inches at my parents' house)
*Losing out on pheasant hunting (for Mark).
*A few tense moments preparing for the wedding luncheon and reception.
*Knowing that the decorator's brother-in-law burned to death the day before the wedding.
*Experiencing fog and icy roads on the last leg of the trip down.
*Sibling squabbles in the car (just a few minor ones, though, and what would a trip be like without them?).
*Waiting and waiting and waiting in a church gym to be transported to the Draper Temple.
*Not being able to walk out on the Conference Center roof (Mark).
*Missing some relatives who weren't able to attend the wedding or reception.
*Knowing my mom was suffering from an abcessed tooth.
*Sore feet from standing all night at the reception in uncomfortable shoes.
*The line of people waiting to greet the bride and groom at the reception. It was endless (at least it seemed that way).

What a Deal!

Pardon my crowing, but I must share my "great deal" news. Today at Old Navy I purchased a pair of khaki cargo pants and a T-shirt for Zachary. The total cost (including tax, of course) was $5.43.

It Could Have Been Worse

Two of my favorite books in our children's library are "It Could Always Be Worse" by Margot Zemach and "It Could Have Been Worse" by A. H. Benjamin. We had our own "it could have been worse" moment today. Rachelle called shortly before 6:00 am to report that she had been in a car accident. A minor one, but one that damaged the car--specifically the right front bumper and the headlight. She had picked up a co-worker at her house on Hollywood Hill, and as they were heading down the hill on their way to work, they hit a patch of black ice and slid sideways into a pole. There were no injuries (just sore muscles) and no other cars were involved. It could have been worse. Much, much worse. In fact, Rachelle said that car turned at the last moment avoiding a head-on collision with the pole. She didn't slide into the ditch. The car is still driveable--ugly, but driveable. (But it was ugly before the collision so no big deal.) It could have been worse. Thankfully, very thankfully, it wasn't!

Head Injury

Mark has stayed home from school "sick" the past three days. I know he doesn't feel well, but the following incident will prove that he's not on his death bed yet. Yesterday I arrived home from running errands to find him with an ice pack on his head. I asked, "Did you bump your head?"

"Sort of," he replied. "I hit my head with my knee while I was dancing the 'Funky Chicken.'"

Door Shopping

The doors in our house are long overdue for replacement. Like really long overdue. I've wanted to replace them since we moved into our house almost 22 years ago. The doors are just plain ugly, dark and hollow.

We have an ongoing list of potential home repair projects. Sometimes items that are lower on the list make their way closer to the top for various reasons. Door replacement was one of those items. However, all it took for it to move up in ranking of importance was for us to discover that there was a very unsightly hole in one door. (Our full-length mirror broke and we learned of the hole behind the mirror. The prevoius home owners probably put the mirror on the door to cover the hole.)

Lance did his homework and was ready to take me to the large warehouse home supply store to show me what he learned. Now I must confess that I don't like to be presented with too many choices because I easily become overwhelmed. Here are some of the door choices I was asked to make:
1. Hollow, foam-filled, or solid wood (in order of cost)?
2. Stain or paint?
3. Color?
4. Style?
5. Cost?
Now for the next confession. I tend to pick the most expensive item not because I know it's expensive. I just have very expensive taste. I don't mean to; I just do! Keep that in mind.

In trying to make the aforementioned choices, we had to consider if we wanted the doors to match our home decor (early Halloween style) or go with something totally different which would create imbalance and then we'd have to replace everything else to match the doors. Although I wanted to choose something totally different, I do have a frugal, sensible bone or two in my body, so I decided to make my choices align with our current decor. Here's what I chose:
1. Solid wood
2. Stain
3. Honey oak
4. Horizontal panels (3, 4, or 5)--anything but the usual 6 vertical panels
5. As inexpensive as possible

After consulting with a door "expert," we learned that we could get each custom-ordered door (13 plus 6 sliding closet doors) for $273 each not including hardware, stain and varnish. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. We are not putting Lexus doors in a Ford Pinto house!!! I had to re-think my choices. This is what we will probably "end up" with:
1. Solid wood
2. Stain
3. Honey oak
4. 6-paneled
5. Store stock (more like $150 each)
We're still in the comparison shopping phase, but it looks like we will get new doors sooner than later. Lance is starting with his closet door since it's the least visible and if he messes up, no one will be see (except us).