Friday, February 27, 2009

What You Won’t Find in Any Child-rearing Book

Over the years, I’ve read many child development and parenting books. I even minored in Child Development and Family Relations at BYU. What’s more, I spent 4 years working at BYU’s Marriage and Family Therapy Clinic and typed books and articles written by the professors who employed me. I thought I knew it all. That was until I had children—five of them. While I have put into use much of the knowledge I gained from all of my reading, the child development books didn’t cover it all. For example, here is a small sampling of what I DIDN’T read about in any of the books. I could have really used the help with these subjects:

*What to do when your young child lies to a police officer.
*What to say when your young son asks an elderly woman why she has a beard.
*How should you discipline a 6th-grade son who lights a fire at school and gets suspended.
*What an appropriate punishment is for a 2nd-grader who floods the school bathroom and rigs the drinking fountain to shoot water straight in the air.
*What a logical consequence is for writing on the carpet of every stair with permanent marker.
*What to do when your child trims your mini-blinds with scissors.
*How to respond when your young son tells the home teacher he has a fat tummy.
*What to do when your child repeatedly disposes of his homework in the school bushes.
*How to respond when your teenage daughter informs you that she needs mashed potatoes for a youth activity that begins in 15 minutes.
*What to do when your teenage son asks you to get him a brown beard, a black beard and a Roman costume and he needs it in 45 minutes.
*How to handle a situation in which your 1st-grader tells two girls from Romania that he “hates” them because they “talk weird.”
*What to do when your young daughter changes her underwear several times a day because it’s too loose.
*How to stop a young daughter from sneakily climbing into bed with each and every houseguest.
*How to prevent your young son from picking each and every flower in your yard and “presenting” them to you.
*What to do when your teenage son sells his lunch items you purchased and pockets the money.
*What to do when you feel like simultaneously strangling and hugging your child.
*How to punish your child when you feel like laughing uproariously at his actions.

Are there any real life situations you’ve encountered that haven’t been discussed in any parenting or child-rearing book?

6 comments:

Stefanie Elyse said...

And here is the outline for your next book. Doesn't it feel good to have the introduction and subject headings already defined? Wow Natalie, Please WRITE! And write a lot! So many people have so much to learn from you and your phenomenal kids!

Annica said...

I think only one of those is about me! The underwear one. Am I right?

NatalieD said...

Yes, Annica, the underwear one is definitely about YOU. I could have written more, but I just decided to do a small sampling.

McIntire Madness said...

So funny. I have to say I love the cell phone story and I sure hope I never have to find out how to punish a child that starts a fire at school!

ellen insights said...

I can relate to that on the teacher's level- the things that they didn't teach me before I stepped foot into a classroom. I will not compose the list here. But your list would most definetly top mine.

Still working on those G names- well pop one out as a surprise in the end.

Noelle said...

Yes, I'd like to hear the stories behind each of these as well. You would be a great authoress...