You've Served Me Well

Over the years I've learned a few "tricks" of the motherhood trade that have served me well, so to speak. I'm happy to share what I've learned. Feel free to use any or all or take them with a grain of salt. Keep in mind that I make no guarantees to their effectiveness with YOUR children. (Sometimes they weren't/aren't even effective with my own offspring,)

*The poker face. (A non-reaction almost always beats a reaction.)
*The time-out. (For kids and parents.)
*The bribe. (Forget what the parenting books say about this; but use it with caution.)
*The non-committal answer. (Use sparingly.)
*Make few, if any, promises. (They can and will be used against you.)
*Always take a change of clothes. (For the kids--if they're under the age of 5.)
*Keep a container in the car that can be used for sudden emesis. (Emesis=a proper word for "vomit.")
*"Moistened towelettes" are indispensible.
*Listen first; talk later. (Unless, of course, you're in the midst of an emergency.)
*"Hmmmm," is often the best response.
*Write down the amusing things your kids say and do. (These anecdotes can be used against them when they're teenagers if need be.)
*Teenage boys really do like kisses from their moms. (Not to be given in public, though.)
*Head rubs will calm an out-of-control child (and mom).

I could go on, but I won't.