How to Be Cool

When a heat wave strikes your area, you want to make sure you can keep cool. It's really hard to stay cool in the house when it's 107 degrees outside and you have no air-conditioning. You can try the following suggestions--all have been tested. I cannot guarantee their effectiveness, because many weren't and the ones that were tended to be expensive.

*Don't cook.
*Buy prepared, convenience foods.
*Eat "out." (Can be expensive especially if you do it continually. Duh.)
*Hang out in air-conditioned stores and establishments. (Also can be expensive if you're tempted to shop.)
*Go to the movie theater. (Also can be expensive if you watch movies, buy popcorn, etc.)
*Search stores for fans and air-conditioners. (My search was unproductive as every store was sold out.)
*Keep the windows and curtains/blinds closed especially when the temperature outside gets as hot as the temperature inside your home.
*Run the stove hood fan continuously.
*Wet down the concrete surrounding your house. (Surprisingly, this is mildly effective.)
*Sit in front of the fan (when it's on, of course).
*Stay hydrated.
*Apply cold, wet compresses to your neck and head.
*Find lots of errands to run in your air-conditioned vehicle. (Be careful that your car doesn't overheat. They're sensitive to heat also, surprisingly.)
*Visit a friend who has air-conditioning.

But the most effective way to keep cool when all else fails:
*Call your parents who live out-of-state, whine about the heat and share your plight. They will come to your rescue, buy you an air-conditioner (at 40% off, too, because they live in an area where nearly all homes have air-conditioning), and ship it to you ASAP. They will do this because they love you and even though they've begged you for years to purchase air-conditioning.