Quick Thinker

8TH-GRADE BOY TO MARK: "You're a 'sevvie.' How's school going?"

MARK (face expressionless as he's had less-than-desirable interactions with "upperclassmen"): "Fine."

8TH-GRADE BOY: "The look on your face tells me that you want to punch me in the face or kick me in the stomach. If you do that, I'll stir-fry you in my wok."

MARK: "You don't have a wok."

8TH-GRADE BOY (pointing to his backpack): "Portable wok."

MARK (pointing to his lunch sack): "Portable Doberman."