Animal Farm

I've never read George Orwell's Animal Farm. I have, however, read books about animal farms. And several books just about animals. I wouldn't consider myself an "animal" person, but animal behavior fascinates me. One might think that because I've read so many animal tales that I would be tempted to add more animals to our one-animal house. Not so. I don't ever picture myself owning a bird, cat or other domesticated animal besides our dog, Sadie. I don't even plan to get a "replacement" dog when Sadie no longer resides with us. She is daughter Rachelle's dog, you see.

Here, before your eyes, is a fairly comprehensive list of the animal books that I have read. I highly recommend most of them:

Marley and Me
Modoc (claims to be a true story, but I have my doubts; also a little graphic on several levels)
Enslaved by Ducks
The Parrot Who Owns Me
The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill
The Rhino with the Glue-On Shoes
All Things Bright and Beautiful
Homer's Odyssey
Wesley the Owl
The Zookeeper's Wife (not so much a book about animals as it is about WWII)

Quick Thinker

8TH-GRADE BOY TO MARK: "You're a 'sevvie.' How's school going?"

MARK (face expressionless as he's had less-than-desirable interactions with "upperclassmen"): "Fine."

8TH-GRADE BOY: "The look on your face tells me that you want to punch me in the face or kick me in the stomach. If you do that, I'll stir-fry you in my wok."

MARK: "You don't have a wok."

8TH-GRADE BOY (pointing to his backpack): "Portable wok."

MARK (pointing to his lunch sack): "Portable Doberman."

Slipping in the Polls

For the past several years (12, I'd say), I have been ranked #1 in the Most Favored Parent Poll. When I checked the rankings today, I had slipped to #2. I guess I can't hope to be #1 forever. I think it was the homework battle that knocked me down. I have faith that one day I can rise in favor and ranking again. Until then . . . I'm #2.

The Big Squeeze

"Does it hurt?" a 41-year-old woman asked me as she entered the Overlake Breast Center waiting room where I sat next in line for my mammogram.

I was obviously looking only at her eyes when I answered, "It doesn't hurt, but it is a little uncomfortable. You don't hear any screaming in here, do you? I imagine it would hurt someone who was large-busted, though."

"I'm a double D," she replied.

So much for setting her mind at ease. Instead of my comment making her contemplative, she opened up to me in a way few other total strangers have done. In the few minutes we were together, donned in our "open-in-the-front" hospital gowns, I learned that she:
*Has a 19-year-old daughter.
*Was never married to her daughter's father.
*Is being "dumped" by said man this week.
*Gave birth underwater assisted by a midwife.
*Was treated very roughly and rudely by a male doctor during a cervical biopsy.
*Screamed and cried during and after the procedure.
*Threatened the aforementioned doctor.
*Was congratulated by the assisting nurse after threatening the doctor.

I was escorted to another room for my procedure. When I was finished, I gave a "thumbs-up" sign to my new friend as I walked by her in the waiting room.

I wonder if men have the same types of conversations or bond in the same way we women do while waiting together for medical tests. I doubt it.

It Pays to Read the Instructions

The look on Mark's face said that last night's math homework assignment would not be easy. Based on past experience with him, I doubted I would enjoy it either. Mark was faced with a double-sided page of 88 multiplication problems like 804,365 times 3,288.

We had a little "pep talk" and I promised Mark that I would give him a little break each time he finished 10 problems. After the first set of ten, he jogged to and from the stop sign at the end of the street and then did 120 sit-ups. This system worked fairly well, and then I left to attend my book club. Lance took over.

A couple of hours into our book club meeting, I received a phone call from Mark. He was distraught. It seems that while looking at Mark's paper, Lance noticed the instructions written in large print at the top of the page: "Do the problem numbers that are multiples of 4." Mark had needlessly completed 53 extra problems. He was neither happy nor amused. I tried to help him see the positive side--he got lots of extra math practice. He didn't seem consoled, but had calmed down by the time I arrived home about 30 minutes after our conversation.

We sent him to bed even though he still had 5 of the hardest problems to work. He still wasn't finished when he left for school. Hopefully, we've all learned a lesson: read the instructions BEFORE starting the assignment.

C.O.P.

Rest assured, I didn't get arrested. C.O.P. stands for Change Of Plans. Who's plans? Sara's plans. Here's the scoop.

Sara was all set to go to Germany. Her plane ticket was procured. (This involved a painful process that had us cashing in some of our precious "frequent flyer" miles. Then we learned that we needed to change the ticket as the final destination was the wrong city. A bit of miscommunication there. We had to pay an additional $189.70 to switch the ticket.) Items were purchased that she needed/wanted to take with her. Suitcases were in position to be packed. Etc.

A couple of days ago (Monday to be exact) Sara received an email from the German lady who was employing her. It seems that said lady thought Sara wouldn't be a good fit for the family as she questioned Sara's honesty about procuring the airplane ticket. There were a few other issues, and the lady "revealed" that they still had an au pair in their employ who was to remain with them until January. This little fact was unknown to us prior to Monday.

Sara replied to the email and cleared up any issues the lady had about her. It seems that she had a change of heart and sent Sara another message stating that they were grateful for her "honesty" and Sara was still welcome in their home on a "trial basis" to see if she and their family would be a "good fit." Details were outlined for various scenarios based on fit with the family.

After a lot of thought and prayer, Sara decided yesterday to decline the offer and stay put. She's planning to enroll in Bellevue College. Fall quarter begins Sept. 21. I.K.Y.P. (I'll keep you posted.) Oh, and, by the way, we had to pay another $150 to get the frequent flyer miles added back into our account.