Gynecological Record Holder

I bet that title got your attention! (Don't worry, folks--I probably won't be sharing anything too embarrassing.) Blogging hasn't been high on my priority list lately. Not that my life is of little interest to any of you. Well, maybe it isn't. Just don't tell me, please. You should know that my boys finished their final exams today and I can finally hold a train of thought without worrying every second if they're doing their homework and trying to keep them on task.

Here is a little information that is sure to interest you. If it doesn't, please don't tell me.

It had been five years since my "annual" gynecological exam, but it had been much longer since I had been examined by my actual doctor. (Nurse Practitioner Hazel had had the privilege of examining me for a few years. It was easier to get in to see her than my very popular, busy doctor.) I decided I really needed to see the doctor because I didn't want to find myself in the position a friend found herself in at her annual exam. (Yes, I realize that "find myself in the position" is a poor choice of words to describe the exam.) My friend was found to have a tumor the size of a lemon on one of her ovaries. Turned out to be Stage 3 ovarian cancer. Not good. She is not doing well as the cancer has metastasized and she's enduring her 3rd round of chemotherapy.

Today was the day of my appointment. The first of today's visits turned out to be a "dry run." I was sitting in all my glory, clad with a scant paper top and a paper "covering," when the nurse informed me that my doctor had been called to assist in a C-section and could I wait 30 minutes or so or return later. (I had already waited in the office 1 hour up to this point. This took me back to time waiting and waiting in this same doctor's office when I was pregnant with 4 of my 5 babies.) I opted to return later as I had an appointment at the boys' school.

I returned to my doctor's office later and crossed my fingers that this time would be the last time today I'd have to undress. (Donning my pajamas later today doesn't count.) Luck was on my side as Dr. H. came cheerfully through the door and greeted me warmly. "It's very ironic that you should come in today," he said. Continuing, "Yesterday I delivered an 11 pound 5 ounce baby, and the mother gave birth naturally." He proceeded to tell me that he told the new mother that he had only delivered one other naturally-birthed baby that weighed the same as hers. And who was that baby? My very own Mark. So now Mark and I are tied for the record of biggest naturally-birthed baby delivered by Dr. H.

On to record #2. After looking over the results of my blood work, Dr. H. informed me that I have the lowest cholesterol (130) of any of his other patients that are my age. That is a very good record to hold. Congratulations to me and my good genes!

There is one other record he shared with me that I hope NOT to break or hold: that of being the oldest obstetric patient. One poor woman holds that record. She was 54 when she gave birth to her naturally-conceived baby. I will be VERY, VERY careful not to find myself in that position.