The General Rules

Little did I know when I gave birth to Mark that I would have to be extremely specific when it came to making rules. Rules like "be kind to others," "put away your toys," "use kind words," "keep your hands to yourself," etc., just don't cut it when you are dealing with a creative child such as Mark. I should have had more foresight and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble. Only in theory, of course. In random order, here are a FEW of the rules I should have established long before Mark came on the scene:

*Don't flush and flush the toilets at school to make them overflow just to make yourself laugh.
*Don't stop up the classroom drinking fountain and make it shoot water straight in the air.
*Don't throw your homework in the bushes.
*Don't hide your homework in the school recycling bin.
*Don't stab other people's apples with your pencil.
*Don't break new pencils in half just to hear them snap. The same goes for crayons.
*Don't cut the levelor blind slats with scissors or anything else.
*Don't call someone a "winged feathered rat."
*Don't shoot the heads off Mom's flowers with an air soft gun.
*Don't carve up potatoes or any other vegetable or fruit Mom is planning to use.
*Don't write stories on your pillowcase.
*Don't carve mean words into the wood on your bunkbed.
*Don't cut the skin off your brand new $75 remote-control dragon you received for your birthday.
*Don't inhale helium at a friend's birthday party.
*Don't throw crayons in church.
*Don't tear your pant leg off during school (or at any other time or place).
*Don't put little pieces of paper in the flame of a candle without permission.
*Don't chew holes in your clothes.
*Don't smear deodorant on the bathroom mirror. Or the countertops. Or the walls.
*Don't pour bottles of shampoo down the bathtub drain.
*Don't spray water on the computer.

One general rule could cover almost every specific rule: Resist every negative and inappropriate impulse!!!!