Busted!

I got caught speeding yesterday. It happened as I drove from Costco to pick up the boys from school. I didn't realize I was exceeding the speed limit (as I'm unfamiliar with the speed limit on that particular road) until I saw the officer and then saw the speed limit sign. I knew I was going to get pulled over, and I did.

Outwardly, I was a good sport and answered, very matter-of-factly, all of the officer's questions. Yes, I knew how fast I was going. Yes, I saw the speed limit sign. No, I didn't see the speed limit sign at the top of the hill when I turned onto that road. No, I didn't have any questions. I said very little. I wanted to be funny, but I just couldn't. I clammed up under pressure. At least, I didn't cry. I don't like to cry--especially in front of a stranger.

I should have said, "I have never before been issued a speeding ticket," and/or "Will you just give me a warning so my perfect driving record isn't ruined?" But what I REALLY wanted to say was, "I weigh MUCH less than what is written on my license." (He didn't even say, "Gee, you look a lot thinner than what your driver's license shows.)

Since I had just come from purchasing many items for our church Christmas party, I silently prayed that the officer would have mercy and just issue a warning. My prayers weren't answered the way I wanted them to be.

I can't fault the officer; I was breaking the law. But, he didn't crack a smile. His words were uttered in a very monotone voice. He was probably my age. Or older. And, darn it all--he disproved my theory that all motorcycle cops are good-looking!

Here's my question for you, dear readers: should I pay the $154 fine or go to jail?

Oh, Canada!

Darling daughter Sara and I went to Victoria, Canada aboard the Victoria Clipper. We took a day trip the day after Thanksgiving as a "final" little mother/daughter adventure before she starts at BYU in January. The waters were very choppy in Elliott Bay, and I felt very queasy before the vessel even started moving. The ginger pills and ginger ale I consumed really didn't help matters much. I opted to take the $.25 dose of motion sickness pills the crew provided on the return trip.

We took a little bus tour around the city and to Butchart Gardens. The gardens were surprisingly beautiful even covered in snow. The Empress Hotel was also very lovely, although we just saw a small part of the interior. Our near-perfect day was capped off by a lovely seafood dinner at Anthony's Pier 66 in Seattle.

Santa's Workshop

Yes, I know; I haven't posted anything for a long, long time. I have a good excuse. I used my blogging time sewing Christmas gifts. Here is a little peek at my finished projects. The cupcakes are actually oven mitts.

I took advantage of the week Lance was in Germany to spread out all of my supplies and sew up a storm. I was excited to finish everything. I put my sewing machine away thinking I wouldn't sew again for quite some time. Then Mark reminded me that I had promised to sew merit badges on his Scout sash. I guess the machine will be set up again soon.

Imagine Alaska

Several weeks ago I planned to write about our August trip to Alaska. I even had photos to show; however, the "photos" are still stuck in my digital camera. There is something wrong with the memory card and I can't access or print the photos. You will just have to use your imagination as I describe the trip.

The purpose of said trip was to attend our nephew Liam's wedding in the Anchorage Temple, see many family members, and get a small taste of a very small part of Alaska. We planned the trip with Cary (Lance's brother) and his wife, Caren. It was a short trip--we were there a mere 2 and 1/2 days--but so well worth going.

We knew Cary and Caren were staying in the same hotel as we were, but since we arrived past midnight, we weren't sure which room was theirs. We discovered they were staying right next door to us when the fire alarm awakened us the next morning. The Dimond Center Hotel was a great place to say (and, no, I didn't misspell Dimond) in spite of the fire alarm one morning and a kitchen and main-floor bathroom flood the following morning. (You know you're in Alaska when you see the hotel staff hurriedly shoveling the water out the door with SNOW shovels!)

The first day there was devoted to everything related to the wedding and visiting with relatives. The temple was a short distance from our hotel, and the ceremony was short, meaningful and sweet. Between the temple ceremony and the ring ceremony and reception, we grabbed a bite to eat, and drove to Eagle River with Laurel (Lance's sister and mother of the groom) and Mick (our brother-in-law and father of the groom) to visit Uncle Johnny, Aunt Vicki and cousin Scott. Since we had never before been to Alaska, we had never seen where Uncle Johnny and family has lived for many years. And, since Mick and Laurel lived in Alaska for many years, have 9 children, and have made infrequent visits to the lower 48, we haven't met all of their children (2 to be exact). Spencer, the 23-year-old, is one we'd only seen once prior to our trip. He was the only child to accompany his parents to Alaska. (We'll have to meet the other two never-before-seen children some other time.)

We were excited that the 30 days of constant rain ended the day before we arrived. It rained a bit at the end of the outdoor reception, but we didn't mind one little bit.

The following day was our "act like a tourist" day. Cary, Caren and Lance and I piled in our shared rental car and followed Mick and Laurel to a wildlife center. I am very attracted to moose, bears and bison, so I had a great time there. Mick and Laurel left us to attend to other social engagements. The four of us continued on our way to Portage Bay and the Byron Glacier. The weather was still cooperative, but things got a bit chilly and windy at some points. We went to Whittier--a town accessible only by boat or a 2.5 mile one-way tunnel through the mountain. Cars go in one direction for certain times each hour, and then go the other way at the other times. It was an interesting, little fishing village.

We planned to eat dinner at the Seven Glaciers Restaurant atop a mountain in Girdwood. We didn't mind that there were no reservations left because the entree prices started at $75. Cary and Caren insisted on treating us to dinner, and I would have been very uncomfortable had we been able to eat there. (We settled for a Mexican restaurant in Anchorage later that evening.) We still took the tram to the top of the mountain to see the gorgeous scenery and watch hand gliders take off and glide over the valley. It was on this little adventure that we became well acquainted with some of Alaska's pesky insects--mosquitos and other annoying pests.

Our last morning was spent at Mick's parents' house watching the newlyweds open their wedding gifts. Liam and Sierra are a cute couple, and we enjoyed spending some time with them and familiarizing ourselves with our new niece. Around noon, we left for the airport. We had a quick lunch, said our good-byes to Cary and Caren and then waited a couple of hours for our flight to depart.

We had a really great time. Lance and I loved spending most of our waking hours with Cary and Caren, whom we see so infrequently. I think the four of us would like to take another trip together in the near future.

(A Few of) My Favorite Gluten-free Things

A little more than three years ago, I became gluten-free out of necessity. (I'm supposed to be casein-free as well, and I'm working on that.) Since then, I've had many opportunities to try different products, recipes, bakeries, stores, cookbooks, blogs, etc. with mixed success. I love sharing my discoveries with others who are also gluten-free. Here are some of my favorite gluten-free things.

*Bread: Udi's (Hands down this is the BEST bread on the market. I'm sure there are others out there that are comparable in taste, but I haven't found them yet. Most other GF breads are just plain yucky!)
*Bagels: Udi's
*GF Blogs: http://www.glutenfreegirl.blogspot/ and http://www.glutenfreemommy.com/
*Chocolate chip cookies: 36-hour recipe from the glutenfreegirl blog (I make deliveries to my "customers" when I make these cookies; they're that good! One gourmet cook friend said these cookies are better than ANY gluten-containing cookies he's ever had. Even my 16-year-old nephew loves them.)
*Other cookies: Chocolate Truffle Cookies (I adapted this from a gluten-containing recipe. These cookies are simply divine!)
*Bakery: Sweet Cakes on Park Lane in Kirkland (BEST cupcakes and chocolate ganache-topped caramel shortbread.)
*Chain restaurant GF menu: Outback Steakhouse and PF Changs
*Cookbook: Pretty much any written by Bette Hagman--especially "The Gluten-Free Gourmet"
*Magazine: "Living Well"
*Cake mix: 365 Organics Chocolate Mousse Cake (Unfortunately, very unfortunately, that company doesn't make that cake any more.)
*Pre-packaged GF mixes and flours: Any from King Arthur Flour Company (except I'm not fond of their pancake mix), Bob's Red Mill (try the Raspberry Oat Bars recipe on the back of the GF oat flour package and the Oatmeal Pancake recipe on the back of the regular oat flour package)
*Brownies: my homemade ones adapted from the Baker's Unsweetened Chocolate box (inside) or the King Arthur Flour Company pre-packaged ones.
*Pancakes: my homemade buttermilk ones adapted from the aforementioned Bette Hagman cookbook.
*Donuts: Kinnickknick's Cinnamon Sugar Donuts
*Pizza rusts: Udi's
*Pizza chain: Romio's (Their garlic bread is fabulous, too.)

I will add more to the list in an upcoming post when I get around to it. Feel free to ask me any questions. Thank you for your attention.

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!!

My mom is three-quarters of a century old today. If you do the math, it means that she is 75. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm sharing her age with my readers (however few in numbers they are). My grandma didn't want anyone to know her age, but many people asked me, "How old is your grandma?" Grandma said, "Tell them it's none of their business." So the next time someone asked me how old my grandma was, I said, "She said it's none of your business." I don't think Grandma really wanted me to say that, but I didn't know it. I lacked a certain degree of tact, apparently, when I was a youngster. But, I digress. On to my dearest mother.

My mom is a wonderful lady and has had some interesting experiences over the years. Here are a few facts--75 to be exact--about this amazing lady.

1. Her house didn't have a bathroom until she was a junior (or senior) in high school.
2. She liked to play tricks on her older siblings.
3. She worked on a hay-baler in her teenage years.
4. She was the youngest of 9 children.
5. One entire room of her house is devoted to chicken paraphernalia.
6. She is a whiz at Canasta.
7. Her brother is married to my dad's sister.
8. Don't even think about eating at her house unless you've washed your hands.
9. She is quite good at sports.
10. She is a magnificent cook but doesn't enjoy cooking as much as she used to.
11. She hosts many parties and gatherings at her house.
12. Her mother (my grandma, of course) lived with our family for many years during the late fall and winter months. I never remember the two of them having an argument.
13. She met my dad when she was in high school.
14. She picked out her engagement rings at her brother-in-law's jewelry store, and told my uncle to tell my dad that she wouldn't marry him unless he bought those rings for her.
15. She used to work in the Sears and ZCMI gift-wrapping departments.
16. She worked for a tax-preparation agency.
17. She grows a vegetable garden every year.
18. She loves berries of all sorts and used to have her own raspberry patch.
19. She makes the best pickled beets I've ever tasted.
20. She's even made beet jelly and peach pit jelly. No joke.
21. She is very meticulous.
22. She puts her whole heart and effort into everything she does.
23. She loves babies and children.
24. She has a "magic touch" with babies, and can make almost any baby stop crying.
25. Flying on an airplane often makes her ill.
26. I could be wrong on this fact, but I think she took her first airplane trip at 45 years of age.
27. The Sound of Music is her favorite movie.
28. Wheel of Fortune is her favorite thing to watch on television.
29. She doesn't really know much about using computers.
30. She loves to eat at Maddox (and a few other select restaurants), but she will claim that she doesn't like eating at restaurants.
31. She is quite frugal.
32. She dresses very nattily--even to go to the grocery store.
33. You will never ever see her in a pair of shorts.
34. She has a collection of Beanie Babies.
35. She likes ice cream with nuts.
36. Spiders terrify her. Snakes also.
37. She's not much of TV-watcher.
38. She still takes care of her childhood home in Idaho and loves going there often.
39. She loves spending time with her family--especially at the family lodge in Idaho.
40. She loved taking care of her mother and mother-in-law and was very good to both of them.
41. She enjoys traveling--especially by car.
42. She is a very loyal and loving friend.
43. She would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings, and she would be very sad if she unintentionally hurt anyone.
44. Her house is often a hotel for many visitors. People feel at home there.
45. She has a great singing voice.
46. One day she will win the Reader's Digest or Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!
47. She's an expert seamstress even though she doesn't sew much these days.
48. Doris Day is her favorite actress.
49. Nat King Cole is her favorite singer.
50. She became a mother at age 24.
51. She became a grandmother 3 months before her 50th birthday.
52. She used to have a penny collection (until my dad mistakenly spent it on a loaf of bread).
53. She doesn't swim.
54. She used to raise chickens and probably wouldn't mind doing it again.
55. Nothing of hers is out of order or out of place.
56. She belongs to a book club.
57. She is a very good driver and has never received a speeding ticket (that I know of).
58. She is gluten-sensitive.
59. She witnessed the birth of two of her grandsons (my boys).
60. She attended a business college.
61. Rock Hudson is her favorite actor. (At least, he used to be.)
62. Iron Port and Cherry is her favorite drink. (No, it's not alcoholic.)
63. She enjoys attending plays and musicals.
64. Her lemon meringue pie is so good, that her next-door neighbor asked her if my mom would put one along with a fork in her casket and bury her with it when she died. Mom honored her request (after "okaying" it with her family).
65. She is my dad's barber.
66. Even though she isn't an "animal person," she cared for a stray cat for a few years.
67. She doesn't like anything to go to waste.
68. She can out-work just about everybody I know.
69. She HATES the word "bored." It's a dirty word to her.
70. She won a beauty contest.
71. She isn't fond of spicy food.
72. Hiking through the Vienna Woods was a dream come true.
73. Meeting her Swedish and Danish relatives were miracles to her.
74. She just wants everyone to get along. (In other words, she hates contention.)
75. She doesn't like people making a fuss over her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!! I love you!!!

"Eyes" A Gettin' Older!

I noticed my vision getting a little blurry a few months ago. Wearing my glasses didn't alleviate the problem. So, after procrastinating a bit and worrying that I might have an ophthalmic issue similar to my sister's, I scheduled an eye exam. Turns out that I do have an ophthalmic issue, but one unrelated to my sister's. It's actually related to aging. Can you guess what is wrong with my eyes?

Cataracts!!! Yes, it appears that I'm developing cataracts (mild at this point, but it looks like cataract surgery could be in my future) in both eyes, and I'm not 80 years old yet. I won't even be 51 for another 2 weeks or so. Aren't old people the only ones who get cataracts??? Am I old???? (Please don't tell me the answer to that question if it's "yes.") My little brown-noser Mark said, "You'll never be old in my book; just a little aged."

Gray hair I can live with. I just cover it up with hair dye. Varicose veins are a little harder to live with, but I cover them up with pants and long skirts. Wrinkled skin? Maybe cataracts are a good thing; they make it harder to see the wrinkles. Mark again: "I don't care about your wrinkles, Mom. You always look beautiful."

Beautiful, maybe? But, old!?!?!?!

Losing It

I'm not as fat as I used to be. Still fatter than I want and plan to be, though; but, for now, I'm celebrating my success.

In March (the 11th, to be exact) I began the HCG Diet. I would say it's kind of a fad diet, but it has been around, supposedly, for 50 years. Some acquaintenaces have successfully "done it," so I thought I would try it. I tried the South Beach Diet a few years ago and lost a good amount of weight on that, but I gained most of it back.

I've been overweight for years--I don't want to think how many--and I just got tired of carrying all of that excess weight around. Really tired of it. I hated the way I looked, quite frankly. I committed myself to taking action. So, I bought the under-the-tongue drops (many self-administer injections, but I chose another route) and then read about the diet. Had I read all of the specifications first, I might not have bought the drops. It took me a full month to talk myself into starting the program. Meanwhile, I read the book WILLPOWER IS NOT ENOUGH. I must say that "willpower is NOT enough!"

It's a "simple" diet, but it ain't easy. At least, not at first. I had to change many, many things besides the kinds and amounts of food I ate. I had to realize that I couldn't eat in social settings while I was on the first phase of the diet (which lasts anywhere between 23 and 45 or so days).

I stayed on the first phase for 33 days and lost 27 pounds. Then, I began a maintenance phase which lasted 6 weeks. I lost another 6 pounds. (The diet "rules" say that you're not supposed to gain or lose more than 2 pounds while on "maintenance," but I didn't care how much I lost.) I'm back on the first phase and have been for 27 days with another 18 or so to go. In total, I've lost 44 pounds, 5.5 inches off my waist (yes, I do count the .5 inch) and am down 3 pant sizes. I feel GREAT!!! I'm hungry a lot of the time, but the hunger abates from time to time. Who's complaining when I'm losing???

Gynecological Record Holder

I bet that title got your attention! (Don't worry, folks--I probably won't be sharing anything too embarrassing.) Blogging hasn't been high on my priority list lately. Not that my life is of little interest to any of you. Well, maybe it isn't. Just don't tell me, please. You should know that my boys finished their final exams today and I can finally hold a train of thought without worrying every second if they're doing their homework and trying to keep them on task.

Here is a little information that is sure to interest you. If it doesn't, please don't tell me.

It had been five years since my "annual" gynecological exam, but it had been much longer since I had been examined by my actual doctor. (Nurse Practitioner Hazel had had the privilege of examining me for a few years. It was easier to get in to see her than my very popular, busy doctor.) I decided I really needed to see the doctor because I didn't want to find myself in the position a friend found herself in at her annual exam. (Yes, I realize that "find myself in the position" is a poor choice of words to describe the exam.) My friend was found to have a tumor the size of a lemon on one of her ovaries. Turned out to be Stage 3 ovarian cancer. Not good. She is not doing well as the cancer has metastasized and she's enduring her 3rd round of chemotherapy.

Today was the day of my appointment. The first of today's visits turned out to be a "dry run." I was sitting in all my glory, clad with a scant paper top and a paper "covering," when the nurse informed me that my doctor had been called to assist in a C-section and could I wait 30 minutes or so or return later. (I had already waited in the office 1 hour up to this point. This took me back to time waiting and waiting in this same doctor's office when I was pregnant with 4 of my 5 babies.) I opted to return later as I had an appointment at the boys' school.

I returned to my doctor's office later and crossed my fingers that this time would be the last time today I'd have to undress. (Donning my pajamas later today doesn't count.) Luck was on my side as Dr. H. came cheerfully through the door and greeted me warmly. "It's very ironic that you should come in today," he said. Continuing, "Yesterday I delivered an 11 pound 5 ounce baby, and the mother gave birth naturally." He proceeded to tell me that he told the new mother that he had only delivered one other naturally-birthed baby that weighed the same as hers. And who was that baby? My very own Mark. So now Mark and I are tied for the record of biggest naturally-birthed baby delivered by Dr. H.

On to record #2. After looking over the results of my blood work, Dr. H. informed me that I have the lowest cholesterol (130) of any of his other patients that are my age. That is a very good record to hold. Congratulations to me and my good genes!

There is one other record he shared with me that I hope NOT to break or hold: that of being the oldest obstetric patient. One poor woman holds that record. She was 54 when she gave birth to her naturally-conceived baby. I will be VERY, VERY careful not to find myself in that position.

Mom in a Nutshell

Happy Mother's Day, my dearest and only mother! Thanks for having, loving and raising me. Some days I think I turned out pretty well. Here's a little tribute to you.

M is for muscles. My mom is a strong woman.
O is for outstanding. Whatever she does is outstanding. No half-baked efforts on her part.
T is for tact. Mom is tactful. Very tactful.
H is for helpful. She helps anyone in need, including me.
E is for energetic. Although she's not a "spring chicken" any more, she has more energy for someone her age than anyone I know.
R is for righteous. What more can I say?

I love you, Mom!!!

Random Ramblings

Yesterday I lunched with a cloistered nun--probably a one-time experience for me. Rosann, the nun's mother, is my friend and has ovarian cancer. She's enduring her second round of chemotherapy. She's fervently prayed for a miracle, and the miracle arrived in the form of her daughter Ann, the nun. I'm not too familiar with the inner workings of the Catholic church, but learned that once a cloistered nun takes her vows, her life belongs to the church and most contact with her family ceases. Ann received special permission from the prioress to fly cross country to have a 6-day visit with her mom. Rosann invited many of her friends to her home yesterday to meet and eat with her daughter. I am very happy that Rosann and Ann could have this reunion, but sad that Ann can't give her mom the ongoing support and contact she needs.

Mark enjoys playing Roblox, an online game. The other night as he played, two of his teammates were warring against each other. One teammate complained to the other, "Why are you killing me; I'm on your team?" Mark, the observer, typed, "Come what may and love it."

On our way to school this morning, we passed a church marquis that contained this question: "What would Jesus tweet?" Mark replied, "Come what may and love it."

Book Clubs

This morning my mom told me that one of her fellow book club members just died. (The deceased member isn't the first in Mom's club to pass on to the Big Book Club in the Sky.) This bit of information made me think about the book club to which I belong. It's quite different than Mom's club. No one has died in my club; but that isn't the only difference. Shall I list more? Okay.

*Mom is one of the youngest members of her club; I'm the oldest in mine. (I must act younger than my age.)
*Mom's club has to "vote in" new members; we are non-exclusive. (Hey, they took me!)
*One member of Mom's club reads a book and reports on it each month--kind of like a book report. We all (or mostly all) read the same book.
*Mom's club spends most of their meeting learning and asking questions about the book. We spend a few minutes talking about the book, but the discussion always involves other subjects (i.e. husbands, children, diets, etc.)
*The non-widows in Mom's club invite their husbands to a summer book club social. Our husbands are busy taking care of our children while we're occupied in club meetings.
*The members of Mom's book club are all empty-nesters. Excepting the single lady members, the rest of us still have growing children living under our roofs.
*Mom's book club probably would never choose to read "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" and "100 Years of Solitude." Unfortunately, ours did.
*Mom doesn't particularly enjoy attending her book club meetings. Book club is a monthly highlight for me.

Recent Photos

Lane, Cindy, Noah and Makenzie with us at the Idaho Falls Temple.

Josh, Annica and Bonnie with Lance and me at the IF Temple. (A & J received their temple endowments and were sealed Saturday, April 17.)

Nephews Tanner and Brennen with their new chicks.
Tanner with Arthur.
Feeding frenzy.
Brother Blake with Tanner and Brennen at the new chicken coop Blake built.
Lanette and Cleo.

Everyone who traveled to Idaho Falls to help Josh and Annica celebrate.

Sara's 20th birthday lunch at Rainforest Cafe.

A Little Mix-up

I'm a member of the committee that provides refreshments for the monthly ICS PTSA meetings. After last month's meeting, the committee chair asked that more food be provided for April's meeting. I decided to make some sandwiches using Costco rolls and homemade curried chicken salad. I made 27.

I delivered the sandwiches to the school district headquarters where the meetings are usually held; however, the meeting room was dark and unoccupied. The receptionist directed me to another room. Turns out, it was the ICS finance committee meeting and there were 2 attendees. (The committee chair told me that the regular PTSA meeting had been postponed one week.) They expected a few (like 3) more people to show up. I couldn't take the sandwiches home, because I was heading to south Bellevue to take Sara to institute and wouldn't return for over 2 hours. I didn't think the sandwiches would be fit to eat after that, and besides, we don't eat bread (at least the kind that contains gluten). So, I left the sandwiches with the finance committee. 27 divided by 5 equals 5.4. I have a feeling each attendee did not eat 5.4 sandwiches.

The finance committee didn't seemed to mind, as the chair said, "Gee, this is the first time we've ever had refreshments at our meeting!" I told her to let me know when their next meeting would be held and I would deliver refreshments again. Not!

Sew What?

Here's a little peek at two projects that have occupied my time most of the week: a quilt top and kitchen curtains. I enjoy sewing, but if you really must know, I'm not that good at it. I enjoy being creative and making things; however, they're never quite "perfect" according to my standards. I guess I'll have to keep trying.

Oh, by the way, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!! (I'm not fooling when I say that I really made these items.)

Emergency Supplies

I can't count the number of times my kids have come to me at the "last minute" requesting supplies for school or a church activity. Just yesterday, 10 minutes before we left for school (and he/she had to be on time to school for a major exam), one of my children (who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) said he/she needed tabbed dividers. I nervously bounded upstairs to look in our supply closet hoping that the extra ones I'd bought for the last emergency were still there. Lo and behold (and thankfully) they were. Very late Sunday night another child (who shall also remain nameless and is another chronic offender) said he/she needed posterboard to complete a school assignment that night. Yes, we had that, too, but it was semi-bent and dusty. Who cared at that point?

I wish these were isolated incidents. They're not. Maybe your children are perfect and you never find yourself in these types of situations. Maybe they're like my almost-perfect children, and you do. In that case, let me offer some advice as a semi-seasoned mother of children ranging in age from nearly 13 to nearly 25.

Buy in bulk before the school year begins. This is approximately the amount of school supplies you should have on hand for those (in my case) not-so-rare emergencies. You may need to devote one room of your house to store these items.

At least 10 protractors--and place them in various locations throughout your home
5 sets of tabbed dividers
5 extra 3-ringed binders
6 boxes of pencils
6 boxes of pens
10 glue sticks
5 pink erasers
3 or more packages of lined (college or wide-ruled) 8.5x11" paper
3 or more packages of copy/printer paper
2 packages of card stock in assorted colors
5 Sharpies
5 Flair markers
3 boxes of crayons
3 boxes of colored pencils
2 bottles of white-out
2 printer cartridges in black
2 printer cartridges in color
Prismacolors (expensive!)
10 pieces of posterboard (white and colored)
3 staplers
2 boxes of staples
1 large container of paper clips
1 large box of sheet protectors
10 pair of scissors
10 rolls of tape
2 rolls of masking tape
2 rolls of duct tape
Pain killers (for you)
5 pocket folders
5 report folders
5 packs of 3x5" cards (lined and unlined)
5 packs of 4x6" cards (lined and unlined)
2 dictionaries
A stack of blank CDs
5 flash drives
large pack of Post-It Notes
5 calculators (including 1 scientific one)
A plethora of batteries in various sizes

Have I omitted anything? If so, I probably have it somewhere in my house.

Thank-you Fight

"Thank you, again, Mom," Mark said after I bought a fast-food meal at the Golden Arches today (bunless burgers and grilled chicken salad, of course).

"Why do you always have to have the last word, Mark?" asked Zachary.

This started a thank-you "fight" of sorts between Sara, Zachary and Mark, with "thank-yous" being flung fast-paced at me. Since the expressions were zinging so quickly, I mostly can't remember who said what, but the comments went something like this:

"Thank you, again, again."

"Thanks, Mom. Oh, I can't remember if I said 'thank you,' so thank you again."

"Thanks for saying 'you're welcome,' Mom."

"Thanks for thanking Mom for saying 'you're welcome.'"

"I forgot again whether or not I said 'thank you,' so thank you."

Then Sara said, "I'm going to be mature about this and not feel the need to get in the last word, but thank you, Mom."

Of course, Mark had to add, "Thanks for putting up with all of this, Mom."

It was all in good fun. I think.

The Sausage Fairy

Perhaps you have heard of the Tooth Fairy or the Good Fairy. Have you ever heard of the Sausage Fairy? I didn't think so. The Sausage Fairy is a beloved and regular visitor at our house. She seems to know just when she's needed most and arrives, warm sausages in hand, to deliver sausages to a boy in the upper bunk. She even provides the plate, fork and a beverage.

She knows when it's most important for said bunk boy to wake up on time and with a good attitude. Her magic never fails. Bunk boy discovers the plated sausages near his pillow and the beverage on the bunk ladder. He smiles, props himself up on one elbow and quickly devours the food. He promptly climbs out of bed, deposits the dishes in the kitchen sink and happily gets ready for the day.

Sometimes the Sausage Fairy leaves a few extra links in a pan on the stove for others in the family to enjoy. How we love the Sausage Fairy!

Lest you feel sorry for the boy in the lower bunk, please know that the Oatmeal Fairy and the Scrambled Egg Fairy alternately visit him at 5:30 each morning of the school week. These fairies also deliver vitamins and Ovaltine-laced milk.

What kind of fairy would be most helpful in your household?

False Sense of Immunity

In an effort to be more humble and to save others who might otherwise find themselves the victims of a scam, I'm "coming clean" on something that happened earlier this week. I acted stupidly. Mark said, "You weren't stupid, just arrogant." Stupid or arrogant? Label me as you see fit.

Spotting a scam? Piece of cake! Or so I thought. Whenever I'd see or hear a report on someone being scammed, I thought something like that would never happen to me. Famous last words.

It all started with an ad for a car on Craiglist that looked a little too good to be true. I emailed the seller. A few little red flags went up, but not enough to discourage me too much. More emails were exchanged and I received a very official-looking "invoice" from "ebay." I did a little bit of research. I should have done more. However, thanks to a series of very fortunate, blessed events, none of our money was lost. The police officers were kind, but wondered why I hadn't seen this on the news. (I rarely watch the news.)

It could have been worse. My pride was hurt, but I still have my money. We still need a car.

Dad's Favorites

My dearest and only father is 77 years old today. We love him dearly around here. He is a great dad, a fabulous father-in-law, and a wonderful grandpa. He lives 800 miles away from us, so we don't get to see him as often as we would like. We try to keep him informed of our family happenings. He enjoys hearing from us, especially when we have funny stories to share. Here are some of his favorite stories about our kids:

ANNICA: We attended Expo 86 in Vancouver shortly after moving to Washington. We rented an RV and drove with Grandpa and Grandma and Mom and Dad to Canada. Annica was 16 months old and an active toddler. She enjoyed the fair attached to us by a "kid leash." We all sat in the front row of a crowded theater to watch something akin to Disney's California Adventure "Soaring Over California," only it was "soaring over British Columbia." As she watched, Annica exclaimed--in her loudest, little voice--"WOWEE!" We all laughed, especially her grandpa. Her grandpa took great delight in everything Annica did. He was especially proud that she could name all colors (even aqua), letters of the alphabet and numbers at the tender age of 16 months.

RACHELLE: Dad always enjoyed cuddling with a very affectionate Rachelle. We've often said that Rachelle looks like a cross between my dad and Lance's mom. Dad particularly enjoys this "Rachelle" story. Rachelle accompanied me to the grocery story one day when she was three. Our courtesy clerk had Downs Syndrome, and I was very worried that Rachelle would make an innocent, but hurtful remark to this boy (because she often embarrassed me like that). However, Rachelle kept her thoughts to herself. When we were safely inside the car away from the ears of this clerk, I asked Rachelle, "Did that guy look like a regular person--just like you and me?" "No," she replied, "He looked just like a pig; but I didn't tell him that."

SARA: Dad and Mom have stayed with us on numerous occasions. The kids enjoyed snuggling with their grandparents when they awoke each morning of their visit. One morning as Sara cuddled with her grandpa, Grandpa asked for a kiss: "Give me a smack, Sara." It was obvious Sara didn't know the alternate meaning of "smack" when she slapped her grandpa across the face. That was the last time he asked for a kiss that way.

ZACHARY: Dad has especially delighted in Zachary's naivete over the years. Zachary attended Rosie's Preschool as a 4-year-old. One day as I waited outside the school with the other parents, Rosie came out ahead of the kids to tell a classmate's father that his son had wet his pants that day. While driving home, I asked Zachary, "Did John wet his pants today?" Zach answered, "No. He just got water in his shoes."

MARK: I really don't know what Dad's favorite "Mark story" is. There are so many. So, I will just let him comment on this post to list his favorite story and then I will post it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dad!!!

Afternoon at the Lake

Rachelle, Sara and I headed to the lake yesterday to enjoy the scenery and beautiful, warm sunshine. Sara was tempted to take a little swim if I had given her $500. I declined.

R.I.P., R.V.

Call me sentimental, but I'm having a hard time parting with our recently totaled car (red van or "RV"). Though battered and bruised, patched and repaired, she served us well for many years. Now she sits in an auto body repair parking lot waiting to be transported to her final resting place. Here is a little poem I wrote in her honor.

With a tear in my eye,
I bid you, "Good-bye"
Our trusty Windstar--
The ugly, smashed car.

Stinging Singing Lesson

"I was sitting in church yesterday and we were singing the closing song, and I had to hold the hymn book over my ear so I couldn't hear you messing up the last line," Sara told her father tonight at Family Home Evening.

She proceeded to tell him how he "messed up" by alternating between the bass, melody and alto parts and how he sang so loudly she couldn't even hear the music. "You messed up four times," she continued. She showed him the song in the hymn book, the particular half-note he missed, and sang the notes correctly for him to hear.

"Shall the youth of Zion falter? No!" Their parents might, though, especially when it comes to singing.

Oh, the Irony!

Less than two weeks ago, we spent just under $1,300 in repairs to and new tires for our 1998 Ford Windstar (mileage 160,000). We debated whether to make the repairs or buy another vehicle. Given that the van is used mainly by Rachelle at college and for work transportation, we decided to go forward with the repairs and tires. (We'd also paid for a new transmission a couple of years ago.) We hoped that our trusty, oft-repaired and banged-up red van (aka "RV") would last until at least Rachelle graduated, got a job and bought her own vehicle. This morning, our hopes were dashed.

The good news is that Rachelle and the other driver were uninjured. Rachelle is stiff, sore, and in pain. (I guess saying that she's sore also means that she's in pain.) The other good news is that she works for a chiropractor who can fix her up. The bad news is that the accident (in which both drivers were cited for different reasons) totaled our car and perhaps the other driver's car as well. Another bit of "good" news is that, since the tires are so new, we can get a little money for them.

Stay tuned, if you're interested. I'm sure there'll be more to this story. (Remind me to tell you about all of the college paraphernalia Rachelle left in the vehicle that her father had begged her to remove. Guess who removed it? I suppose I just told that part of the story.)

Fair Warning

Mark helped me prepare tonight's dinner. As the family entered the kitchen, he said, "Be prepared for a little food poisoning."

It's been an hour or so since we finished dinner and, so far, no one has become ill. Stay tuned . . .

I Want to be . . .

A sweet, young mother friend of mine recently wrote about "the kind of a mom" she wants to be. She copied another friend's list and noted that she will add her own items as she gains more motherhood experience. Reading her blog post got me thinking along the same lines, but with a different slant.

Here's my list in no particular order. By the way, it's not all-inclusive. Oh, and, please don't judge me.

I want to be . . .

*. . . the kind of a mom who doesn't take offense when a child says, "You've ruined my life."

*. . . the kind of a mom who realizes that a child's perception is their reality. (Think about it.)

*. . . the kind of a mom who doesn't cry over spilled milk. Or snipped levelor blinds. Or stories written in black permanent marker on the wall. Or "accidental" haircuts. Or flooded toilets, flooded bathrooms, flooded hallways. Or sopping wet basement ceiling tiles.

*. . . the kind of a mom who patiently teaches "Toilet Roll Replacement 101" over and over and over ad nauseum.

*. . . the kind of a mom who doesn't panic when the school principal calls (for the 200th time).

*. . . the kind of mom who never owns a television (unless she keeps it hidden in a closet and sneaks it out only to watch football or THE AMAZING RACE).

*. . . the kind of mom who could lovingly influence her children to never be interested in video games.

*. . . the kind of a mom who could inspire her children to always trust her with the truth.

*. . . the kind of a mom who really isn't at all bothered when her children wear mismatching clothes or doesn't comb their hair before being seen in public.

*. . . the kind of a mom who remains unflappable in the face of a child's angry outburst(s).

*. . . the kind of a mom who always remembers to leave the window slightly ajar for the Tooth Fairy to enter.

*. . . the kind of a mom who sits calmly and quietly in the passenger seat while being driven about by her student-driver child.

*. . . the kind of a mom who isn't burdened by unnecessary guilt (whatever that means).

*. . . the kind of a mom who lives with few, if any, regrets.

Call Screening

Because we have "caller I.D.," we screen our calls. Rest assured that we answer calls from everyone we know but don't answer most calls from solicitors or callers with unknown numbers. When the phone rang this evening, the caller I.D. showed "FFFF" (Feature Films for Families). I get way too many calls from them, and I get tired of giving the same answers to the same questions to the same guy. (I hope none of you know him.)

Sara was closest to the phone when it rang, so I asked, "Who is it?"

"FFFF," she replied.

"At least it isn't the KKK," Mark quipped.

Mark's First Quotes of 2010

"How come you can't be like a regular woman and not watch football?"

"I wish I could audit all of my classes."